112. Status Quos

After a long day at Somewhat-But-Not-Quite-Too-Much-Major-Client, I wondered if I shouldn’t just make an effort to find more … clients? Currently, I have 4-5 depending on how you count, and the former makes up about 80 per cent of the income from all of them, taken together. Not a good show. Almost like … a job.

On the other hand, not all days are equally bad. Just like a job.

And not all clients are always equally good. In fact, one of the clients, NT, whom I really think highly off sometimes … does something unpredictable, like deleting all his email accounts (“to get things moving”), which I do not think so highly off.

So everyone has their upsides and downsides, and I guess that’ll never change. And now is not the time for too much experimentation, with Jay just around the corner.

So I guess I’ll stick with the ones I have, including first-mentioned, and slowly take in some new ones – but not rush to find them until the baby-routine is a bit more there. For both Char and I.

And that’s the same status quo which was the status quo a month ago. In my mind.

The reason I’m mentioning it again is because it was in doubt. Could I, should I, would I – make different choices? In terms of who, how many and what kind of client-work?

Of course. I should revise all the time. That, at least, is one of the freedoms I have as an entrepreneur. I can continually try to upgrade the mix of clients, whereas as en employee with just one client, my employer, I’d be pretty much stuck.

But the truth of the matter is that I do yearn to make money in better ways, like my live-talks or even better yet – via more writing … Now that I’ve begun to believe I can actually write again … Meaning: As long as I stick to linked short stories, written in short installments I should be fine. (Fingers crossed.)

But I digress. Writing for money again, a project I’ve had numerous times, in numerous versions, is all well and fine. But It Can’t Be Realized Overnight.

A sufficient number of stories and a sufficient (paying) audience for them, won’t show up overnight. That’s something you build. For years.

I knew that from all the times I failed to even get much more than drafts done. And sometimes it scared me.

It still scares me, even if I think I know a way to write now that I can actually keep up. The uncertainty scares me. The long years …

But as someone once said: ‘Time is going to pass anyway, so better get started doing something good for yourself – which your future self will thank you for!’

I want to make money by myself but in more joyful ways than I do now. It’s not about passive income over active income, although I once not so long ago deluded myself into believing that that was all it was about.

It’s about more joyful ways of making income. Of continually raising the bar.

That’s a new status quo worth fighting for. And one that might just this time make me keep fighting long enough until I get to it.