123. Do Your Math

Got home today from the rent-a-seat-office and wanted to make a big splash in writing and blogging. And then I felt completely down about it all.

I sort of stood and looked at our tiny apartment and said to myself: ‘Yeah, yeah – it’s nice, after all. I think we have a lot of good things, including a child soon. But how on Earth am I supposed to make money before I don’t have any spirit left?’

I thought about the future and about writing again and trying to earn a buck selling these stories on whatever platforms. Yeah, I think I can finish them this time, because they are not novel-size. Max about 25K words a piece. First one is already 2/3 there. But …

With all the other factors draining my energy – particularly work, children, and daily chores – and added that I’m not getting any younger …

… Do I even believe I can earn just, say, 1000 or 2000 USD/m self-publishing fiction before I am too tired of it all?

You could say I have to and time is going to pass anyway, so I might as well keep at it.

You could be right.

Let’s say that the ideal-scenario is that I am able to make about 2000 USD/m on average publishing some kind of series on my own and other platforms, like Amazon – in 2 years. I’d like to make more, and quicker, but in my mind it is not realistic to make more, quicker.

On the contrary.

I feel right now that with all that which is competing and is going to compete with my time and energy … (and even if some of said  competitors (Jay) got me working hard again to economize my time and improve my habits) …

… I do feel that it would be at least 4, maybe 5 years before I could make that kind of money per month by writing fiction.

Under ideal scenarios:

  • if the marketplace doesn’t change too much, like Amazon changing their terms or algorithms or royalties significantly
  • if I am capable of finding time and energy to market properly what I write
  • if I am able to write despite having to work to earn money every month to pay the rent like … most normal people
  • if nothing big or bad happens to my health, or my family – including Jay
  • if Trump doesn’t blow up Latvia

The last one is probably not going to happen, despite occasional doubts. But the one before that is likely – at least as regards family health.

On the other hand, unless a truck runs over my hands or a meteor hits my eyes, I will be able to write at least 500 words per day on average. I’ve proven that already for extended periods of time. I’m proving it now with my most recent story.

So maybe 2 years could work, but what if it’s 5 – or even 10? The time is going to pass anyway, and – especially considering past failures to hang on and persist – I think my future self of 53 will thank me for having written nearly 2 million words, spread out on, say, 73 self-published short novels of about 25K words a piece.

And what if it’s only 60 – or even 50?

Unless something really, really bad happens, I could do this, if I persist.

And no matter what the hell the market looks like in 2027 I could earn something in the league of thousands. And that will be nice, both for my personal satisfaction, for feeling passionate about life and for relief when the shit hits the fan in other areas of life. And it does.

There is usually nothing better than a few thousand dollars coming into your bank-account every month almost automatically when you have to nurse a sick parent or if your regular company files for bankruptcy.

Those kicks of life hurt, and dollars can’t heal them (well, maybe a bit with the bankruptcy) … but still.

It helps.

So I guess I just got myself what I wanted:


And above all hope to carry on and just write – create wealth, create assets, persist.

It doesn’t matter that it might not lead to something in 2 years of even 5 or 7. It will.

If I persist.

History and experience has proven that again and again. And simple math.

I was always a non-fan of math in school, but it seems as if switching to that part of the brain every once in a while still has its benefits.

I feel ready to write. Even if it takes 10 years before it matters financially, and 5 years before more than a few handfuls of people read it, and still some weeks before the first messy draft of the story is finished.

Even despite all that. So there.

Do your math.