171. I Momentarily Felt

… anxious when it comes to earning money in a way that’s better than now.

Not news, really, although this time it came to me while walking Jay in his carriage Very Early this morning, dead-tired and wondering if I was ever going to get time enough to get some of the (other) successes I craved in life.

43, very small fragile web-consult firm, owns bank and student loan of about 40K, very irregular cash-flow, very irregular time-flow – esp. now that Jay is here.

So how the hell to get more money in a way that’s better and more fulfilling than now, and which doesn’t require me to sell my time all the time?

The Question that has kept popping up the last 171 posts and for years before that.

One Mr. Personal Development himself, I know of, who has been in a ‘state of abundance’ for 15 years+ due to his success, says you should reframe your scarcity-thinking in order to turn it around.

Meaning: Find a new story aside from the story that ‘you lack something’. For him and his wife it was, apparently, the exciting story of learning to make do with little and feasting when they could afford tacos at the end of the month.

Maybe I’m not doing the advice justice, but I aim to take it seriously. I’m sick of thinking about this particular aspect of my life in that way: ‘I lack’.

It would be prudent of me to train myself to think – without deluding myself – of this aspect of life in new ways. Especially if I never solve it.

Especially if I never learn to make enough money in a way that is more satisfying and less time-consuming, something which is – let’s face it – the norm here on Earth. That you don’t do this.

Most people have jobs, businesses, etc. that they don’t like that much. Many ┬ápeople don’t even have jobs.

So no whining. This is just a statement of the fact that from my perspective this way of thinking and living with regard to money, which has been my experience on and off since I was in my early twenties – this has got to change.

The experience, not necessarily the situation.

And yes, I do realize that the situation might still be uncomfortable, but it can be less uncomfortable, if I really strive to think of it in a new way and make it a habit.

Most wise decision, eh?

Better late than never …

So for now I will think of my quest to earn more money in less time-consuming and more satisfying ways as a project problem.

I loved those at university. We would define a problem and work on the definition endlessly, all the time bouncing back and forth between analysis of the problem, data-gathering and theoretical discussions.

Like: ‘How do we eradicate poverty in Namibia?’

Which could have sub problem definitions like:

1) What is the definition of poverty?

2) What are the main factors driving poverty in Namibia?

And so on and so on. Endlessly trying to be more specific, more operational. It was like a never-ending puzzle – trying to make reality fit into a problem definition, trying to make causality fit into some clear answers to said problem definition.

I liked it.

Along the way, while doing this exercise – the deepest I’ve ever done of my financial situation – I will document everything and share my experiences. That will do some good, no matter what I come up with to solve my own financial problems.

And that is another experience I like to have.