80. Let Go and Live

One of the days when I felt … affected somehow to see other persons as annoying or hostile towards me, intentionally. First choice of view.

Whatever the reason, I feel glad to say that I managed to let go of it all at the end of the day.

And let go of my looming hostility towards myself for not being able to let go of it all sooner.… Read more

78. Critical Questions

Just on my (delayed) way home from an otherwise succesful live-talk about the last Inca Princess.

I’ve done these historical talks – a hobby of mine – for years now. Good fun. Good side-income.

This one went well, too. Sort of.

On our way to the station the local organizer of the institution that had hired me to give the talk had a comment.… Read more

77. First Silence

First day on my new social/news media detox.

I also exited the insurance system completely today, by the way. Rely on finding clients for my company in the future. Strange … doesn’t feel like such a big deal now, despite all the uncertainty that goes with it.

Maybe in some months when I am a father I might feel more worried about money, but for now it feels like it’s … okay.… Read more

73. Positions

I woke feeling like somebody has stolen my energy, irritated and anxious.

But it helped that I got right off building the new ‘office’ in room 2 and then completed a task for a new (steady) customer. I can’t remember if I wrote earlier that I got all the various approvals, registrations and rubber stamps for my company after much soul-searching.… Read more

72. The Heart Needs No Distractions

Yes, we try to fix it all … with a little prescribed mindfulness or meditation, perhaps.

But usually we fall by the wayside …

We end up ‘fixing’ only our sense of being swept away by life’s storms, whirl winds – whatever they are.

But we are still swept away … every day …

So we continue to fix by continuing to escape:

Whatever feels like it is too strong for us to control and brings us out of balance all the time – screaming kids or a screaming boss.… Read more