What is this blog for, anyway? Nobody reads it, and I feel too little energy and too little time to promote it.
I know. I have seen the stats. There are virtually no visitors.
With the increasing vastness of the Internet, will it even be discovered when I have 840 posts?… Read more
A very focused day, which seemed to serve me well with my apparently-no-longer-that-difficult customer. And with other things.
My computer’s died so I use Char’s and have to get a new one soon – teaching and talks coming up.
Apartment’s still messy but at least we got a changing table set up for Jay.… Read more
A day when I did go to the cinema to watch a live transmission of theater (NT Live) with a friend, which was very nearly perfect. A high point on a day of a life journey in some ways.
A point from which you can feel elevated and ‘more cultural’ than others, if you want.… Read more
Went to see an old friend today and his wife and two kids. And get some of their clothes for Jay. And a bed.
A fine little bed, for our boy.
That was a light, moving winter’s noon – in good company, before going on to a family occasion. More good company, but different.… Read more
A trying day when I had to set some clearly expressed limits towards my new customer no. 1, the photographer.
Same old story: He wanted me to work more for less time and do the rest in my spare time, without compensation.
To some degree I agree, but not as much as he wants.… Read more
One of the days when I felt … affected somehow to see other persons as annoying or hostile towards me, intentionally. First choice of view.
Whatever the reason, I feel glad to say that I managed to let go of it all at the end of the day.
And let go of my looming hostility towards myself for not being able to let go of it all sooner.… Read more
What would I like to get out of ‘middle-age’?
… supposing that it is even true that ME exists for me? (I could die tomorrow, you know.)
But what would I like to get out of it?
What would I like to be?
Until now, I have mostly thought of what I left behind for good.… Read more
Just on my (delayed) way home from an otherwise succesful live-talk about the last Inca Princess.
I’ve done these historical talks – a hobby of mine – for years now. Good fun. Good side-income.
This one went well, too. Sort of.
On our way to the station the local organizer of the institution that had hired me to give the talk had a comment.… Read more
First day on my new social/news media detox.
I also exited the insurance system completely today, by the way. Rely on finding clients for my company in the future. Strange … doesn’t feel like such a big deal now, despite all the uncertainty that goes with it.
Maybe in some months when I am a father I might feel more worried about money, but for now it feels like it’s … okay.… Read more
I decided to have another go today at detox from social media and certain (news)-sites.
I want to feel calmer and more ordered and more at peace. And become a father. And run a company.
Won’t happen unless I pull up some weeds.
One weed that has bothered me a long time is Donald J.… Read more
Another Rearrange Appartment-weekend.
I need to throw out or store books etc. from the old shelves so only about 30 per cent is left to fit on the new shelves we are going to put up.
In place of the old shelves there will be our new big cupboard with clothes for all of us.… Read more
An old friend, whom I had thought lost, said to me today that having children makes you both invincible and incredibly vulnerable at the same time.
No more needs to be said.… Read more
I woke feeling like somebody has stolen my energy, irritated and anxious.
But it helped that I got right off building the new ‘office’ in room 2 and then completed a task for a new (steady) customer. I can’t remember if I wrote earlier that I got all the various approvals, registrations and rubber stamps for my company after much soul-searching.… Read more
Yes, we try to fix it all … with a little prescribed mindfulness or meditation, perhaps.
But usually we fall by the wayside …
We end up ‘fixing’ only our sense of being swept away by life’s storms, whirl winds – whatever they are.
But we are still swept away … every day …
So we continue to fix by continuing to escape:
Whatever feels like it is too strong for us to control and brings us out of balance all the time – screaming kids or a screaming boss.… Read more