I wasn’t able to choose, and this is painful to admit. I have tried everything from writing novels to creating niche information businesses online and I have given up before going very far, or finishing products.
I haven’t been consistent and persistent, and that is the truth. I wanted the quick fix.… Read more
But of course I couldn’t … switch work and so.
I could just go to Big Client no. 1 and take up the reins again after my leave due to the birth of Jay. And then go catch up with other minor clients and find new clients.
And what a real bug of a day.… Read more
I was thinking this morning, as I sometimes do, with a vague nostalgia about the time I lived in the second largest city of the country. Over 20 years ago …
We lived three young people in a shared apartment and the days went by with me working in an after school club and then in the evening the two of us sometimes went to the cinema and to events about comics and movies.… Read more
Sorted 5 bags worth of old letters not so long ago. Some of them from 1989. Most from the mid- and late 90s. Back when you still wrote letters …
It’s actually some months ago, but since I’m continually revising and cleaning up both my house and my life, these days more than ever with baby-Jay as our new family-member, I figured this experience still is relevant to recount.… Read more
When it is the right time – if they are good friends. That was what happened today.
JO called. And it was not too late, or too soon. We were able to breathe again, and talk about it all. And share.
Other persons sent me invitations to their parties, without noticing or acknowledging that we had just had Jay, and a rough time.… Read more
And over-population. And climate disaster looming. And pesticides in the milk. And …
That old question … I feel strange watching the world’s news while raising my newborn son. What kind of world has he come into?
He came without planning. We had long given up fertility treatments. They didn’t work.… Read more
… anxious when it comes to earning money in a way that’s better than now.
Not news, really, although this time it came to me while walking Jay in his carriage Very Early this morning, dead-tired and wondering if I was ever going to get time enough to get some of the (other) successes I craved in life.… Read more
Choices, I mean.
And my attempt at Internet detox becomes a lot easier. Here’s the secret:
Jay is asleep for max 2 hours at a time during day, then he wakes and needs to feed or take a poo or get a little attention. And Char is already heavily sleep-deprived and steeling recovering from the not-so-fun circumstances of the birth.… Read more
I found out about the bomb that had killed a score of youngsters at a concert in Manchester, while I was walking with Jay’s carriage at 3 AM in the morning to help him calm down.
Not again, huh?
Terror attacks. It’s all a blur sometimes. Like … it’s never-ending.
And like the world is becoming more dangerous by the day …
… when you are walking your newborn son in a carriage along empty streets at 3 o’clock in the morning, to get him to sleep.… Read more
… being sent home from hospital a day too early (in my reckoning). My brother, who is a paramedic, came by today with his wife and gave me reason to think so.
He said: “Sometimes you have to insist of a certain treatment in the medical system, not just bow to authority.… Read more
A quiet day, with no visits. Sometimes that’s how life should be, and not just when you have a baby… Read more
We are doing better, due to lots and lots of help – some we paid for, but most came from family and friends.
Yesterday as we walked together for the first time as a family, outside, with Jay in the carriage, I said to Char:
I think I’m learning to appreciate family relations more as I grow older.… Read more
A grueling first 3 days with so many hits at once – trauma after the cesarean, exhaustion, baby-worry (and screaming) and general logistics breakdown of shopping/cooking etc.
But last night we hired a private mid-wife to come and help us, talk about it all, give morale boost. It cut deep in the credit account but was worth it.… Read more