When you feel more … alive … then you can go in and analyze if you are in the right place and where you are going. Don’t do that, when you feel down.
It matters that he slept better, my 7 week old son.
Not because it was good that we got more sleep, too, but because he felt better. That is the chief concern. It always is.
We need to see our life as story where we can grow and become the best reflection of a saint.
Death reveals to us the folly of our complacency.
When we are confronted with some death or other, especially a death of someone close to us, we are stripped naked – even if only for a short while.
We are reminded of something unpleasant (not only our own physical mortality). We don’t like to be reminded. Hence we try to forget as often as possible, as quickly as possible and … ‘move on’.
I’m as guilty of that as the next man!
What we want to forget ASAP is:
That we think it is ‘all right’ to live on forever in a certain way — or at least for a very, Very, VERY long time.
That it is all right not to change.
That it is all right to always be the same.
It is not all right.
It is not so trite as to say that all things can be made better by only focusing on ‘giving me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change’.
It is about focusing more on what can be changed, and realizing this is actually a lot – inside.
I said something about how tired we both were of looking after Jay and she disagreed, even though she was dead-tired. I know why, but I was tempted to argue about it anyway.
I stopped and just closed the door. To the office. Not the perfect solution, but Jay was asleep and so will she be.
Not arguing with me about how tired we are because it takes a toll looking after the child we both love.
with baby, visits, house-stuff and too little time for making money or just making some time for oneself.
And yet, when the house was quiet, I decided to take out the drawing pad. I had almost given up.
But now I was drawing for the first time in months.
I just want it to be.
So that part of my soul is not lost. That’s all that matters.
I’ve realized – now more than ever – that I want to be free of any drive to be famous, rich – to have ‘position’. Drivers inside for fame, money and position are, actually, chains – not drivers. That much is clear to me. A very important realization. I’d like to elaborate on this, but … Read More
I like to believe everything is connected and that there are signs, coming from deeper – most unexpected – levels of the universe.
Of course that kind of stuff was like a label they put on me in psychiatric hospital 12 years ago: Suffering from magical thinking.
I don’t really care.
I like to see every hour I have to spend working for this client as a training program making me a black belt and beyond.
In mental martial arts.
Drivers inside for fame, money and position are, actually, chains – not drivers.
Now I just have to execute. But perhaps half the battle is won by coming to a clear decision first.
Life is meant to be good, despite the obvious times when we have to accept is is not.
Why is it meant to be that way? Because we choose it, dammit.
Sometimes you have to appreciate what you can do, instead of what you can’t.