206. My Son Slept Better This Night

What a difference it makes.

We suspected he had stomach problems, because of something Char ate – perhaps egg plants – that then ‘came through’ to him in the milk.

It’s not as hocus pocus as it sounds, that some foods eaten by mothers, really irritate their breast-feeding children. What is hocus pocus is people trying to convince you that strawberries, for example, are bad for all babies.… Read more

203. Beauty

Time to be philosophical – not in the least because the day has been anything but, with breadwinner-work and baby-work.

Okay, here goes:

Happiness and peace taken together equals a sense of … beauty.

This is first and foremost and inner experience, or an inner journey if you will, since there is nothing fixed about it.… Read more

200. Looking Back (ii)

I’ve realized – now more than ever – that I want to be free of any drive to be famous, rich – to have ‘position’.

Drivers inside for fame, money and position are, actually, chains – not drivers. That much is clear to me. A very important realization.

I’d like to elaborate on this, but it is just so … big right now.… Read more

199. Selkirk’s Island

Today I took a break between clients and went to the comic shop I’ve frequented since I was 12.

Don’t go there much for comics anymore, just good chats with one of the old employees. A friendly version of Comic Book Guy from Simpsons, oh yes.

We talked about my latest live-talk, upcoming and planned, about another historical character that fascinates me:

Alexander Selkirk – the real Robinson Crusoe.… Read more

198. Mental Martial Arts

So another few days went buy working for Annoying Big Client.

And yes, I’m still sworn to look for alternative clients, to diversify, expand. All that, yes.

But while I am dependent on him for 75 percent of my monthly income I can do something else that makes it worthwhile enduring doing work for  this man.… Read more

197. New Drive

I have thought a lot about what drives me. Ask me and I will say ‘never fame or money’ – never to a certain ‘position’ in politics, business or culture. None of that.

But if I really see what’s inside myself I am not so sure.

I am sure, though, when I really, really feel what I want … that I don’t want those drives.… Read more

195. From Now On

I have to strike a balance.

Giving entirely up on my strong drive to earn money in better and more enjoyable ways, won’t work.

But I need not to obsess too much about it and let that mission distract me from appreciating everything else in life. It is such an old trap and I don’t – DON’T – want to fall for it again.… Read more

194. Perfect (Not)

So I’m sitting at this local cafe, living ‘the laptop lifestyle’, sipping latte and blogging about what’s on my mind.

Except that I’m doing it to escape our two-roomer and a baby and get an overview of what’s in my mind. Or rather: Check a growing feeling of despair this morning.… Read more