468. Waterfall

What does it feel like to be alive? Living, you stand under a waterfall. You leave the sleeping shore deliberately; you shed your dusty clothes, pick your barefoot way over the high, slippery rocks, hold your breath, choose your footing, and step into the waterfall. The hard water pelts your skull, bangs in bits on your shoulders and arms.Read more

466. Stop

I have a really fucking long list of things to day that could keep me from doing something I really love, things that are Very Important – from cleaning house to searching for customers.

But I don’t do them.

I do the other thing.

And I realize more and more that this is what I have to do in order to get time to do that other thing – which I love.… Read more

465. Spend It All

One of the things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now.Read more

464. Divers

Like any child, I slid into myself perfectly fitted, as a diver meets her reflection in a pool. Her fingertips enter the fingertips on the water, her wrists slide up her arms. The diver wraps herself in her reflection wholly, sealing it at the toes, and wears it as she climbs rising from the pool, and ever after.Read more

463. 1984 Excitement

We’re both in the gutter, that’s no surprise
What does it matter when I look in your eyes?
We’ve lost all our money, we’re thrown out of bars
We’re lying in the gutter but we’re looking at the stars

I get excited, you get excited too
I get excited, you get excited too

I hear the sound of the subway, the sigh of the heat
the click of the visitors’ heels on the street
the rattle of the taxi, the scream of the cars
the clatter of the dustbin and the beat of my heart

I get excited, you get excited too
I get excited, you get excited too
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I don’t know why, I don’t know why

You’re in my soul
My body moves to your control
Baby, I’ve been thinking about you
all night long and the neighbours are talking

I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I don’t know why, I don’t know why

We’re both in the gutter, that’s no surprise
What does it matter when I look in your eyes?Read more

462. Greater Damage

All right, with the last handful of posts I have practically destroyed any attempt at organizing The Blog on a higher level than just the normal categorizing and tagging.

And I have said to hell with all the multitude of contradictions and dead ends that are in the previous 460 posts or so, or in many of them.… Read more

461. Inner Power 2.0

I removed the page with the “Mega Guide” about Inner Power.

Instead I will just keep the research posts in which I sum up my experiences with that theme from the last year or so.

Messy yes, but there it is.

I found it to be sucking a little too much of my power trying to improve upon that mess and write a more polished guide which I no longer cared for.… Read more

460. Dare

No more tags for LOG (diary).

No more REVIEWS or even “Looking Backs”.

Maybe sometimes. Maybe not.

I don’t care for them so I am throwing them overboard now – some before I even got started.

And that feels good.

If I want to review myself what the hell I thought about a particular problem 3 months ago and learn from it or avoid making the same mistake or whatever – then I will use the search function.… Read more

459. Fuck You

Yes, no more link-dump trying to find five links for every blog post that may link to other blog posts. To be ‘helpful’ – to myself, to search engines and to any future readers. Yadayada.

Maybe some links, some times. Maybe not.

That’s what makes it feel fun to blog again!… Read more

458. Next 20

I have had this idea for sometime that a nice way of thinking of my next birthday is that I get the chance to start over.

Yeah, that’s right – all the stuff I did not know at 24 I get to do differently at 44 and on.

And some stuff I have done so I don’t need to do it again.… Read more

457. THIS Is The Blog

No screw it, I know what I need to do now to make The Blog work for me. And here it is – my manifesto:

The Blog is not going to be indexed or sorted or organized anymore than a simple full list of posts and a normal blog page. I don’t care to index – it demotivates me like hell.… Read more

456. Every time I think

Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It’s no problem of mine
But it’s a problem I find
Living a life that I can’t leave behind
But there’s no sense in telling me
The wisdom of the fool won’t set you free
But that’s the way that it goes
And it’s what nobody knows
Well every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I’m waiting for that final moment
You say the words that I can’t say
I feel fine and I feel good
I’m feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don’t know what to say
Why can’t we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I’m not sure what this could mean
I don’t think you’re what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I’llRead more

455. The Album Maker

Written on 20 March this post is indicative of … problems. At least with regard to keeping up blogging, and blogging about something that is … good. Meaning valuable. Meaning something I can believe is good and valuable for others.

With regard to catching up on both The Blog and my life, so to speak, things are messy right now and I don’t really know where to begin.… Read more