After much dithering, I’ve made a decision. And it happened because I was rejected.
Well, kind of.
I had asked a freelance editor to take a look at my recent short novel. I figured I would pay her, then we could set a date and then I’d be motivated to finish the second draft.
She refused an appointment, and, I guess, even payment before I had indeed completed draft 2. And had it read by a few beta-readers, as they are called.
I was annoyed, but I think, really, she did it because she didn’t want to take my money for something I might not even complete if I had set this kind of accountability up for myself – paying somebody else money to read and comment on what I would finish.
So in a way that little experiment helped me to clarity. It really did.
I’m going to ice the short novel series for now. About Mary Strachan and time-travel (again).
It has all the right content, effects, plots, visions and characters – but for some reason my heart is not in it anymore, and that has to be what makes the decision right to put it in the drawer. Until my heart maybe comes back to this.
I had a brief surge of ideas some months ago that maybe I could start an extra income stream, more passionate income, with writing again – fiction. And maybe I will. But if the heart says no it’s not going to be with this story, not at this time anyway.
I’d rather focus on my historical live-talks, I feel. They contain, after all, a lot of storytelling, too, just in another medium. And they earn good bucks – from time to time.
What truly made me realize this, I’m not quite sure about. But I think it became clear enough in my mind when I asked myself what distinguished my upcoming (and illustrated) live-talk about the real Robinson Crusoe (Alexander Selkirk) from that short novel and the planned series to follow it.
The difference is that I’m fascinated by Selkirk right now. I need to tell a story about him, to illustrate it, do slides, create the show, connect with people and share my impressions of him. I need to tell the story of this character – real man, as it is. I don’t know why but I need it.
Much as I love my protagonist, Mary Strachan, in that short novel series, I don’t really need to tell her story. Not with the same urgency.
I can’t explain why it is like that but this realization of what drives me here, creatively and otherwise, is quite enough.
The real-life Robinson Crusoe has priority and so it is.