A day with my first client in a month and then back to home-work with baby Jay and all. Life could go on like this seemingly forever, routine – something I do yearn for (but with more income coming in). Except that this is not real life.
It is a bubble.
There is a larger life around me which I cared very much about in earlier years and still do: The state of the world – environment, war, poverty, development etc.
It’s not just abstract and distant, since climate change, for example, will impact us all. Climate refugees will hit our borders and we will take to more and more inhuman measures to keep them away. Everything is intertwined.
But the difference between me now and me in my early university years (1997-2003-ish), is that I no longer believe in cultural, economic or political fixes. Those things are external. Real change has to come from inside, a change of spirit.
I am not content, like some New Age-books, to leave it at that – hanging in the air: ‘Real change – must come from inside’. And then not so much more, except perhaps that we meditate twice a week.
So much for practical and visionary solutions. They are in short supply, where ever we look. I mean, if we want to contribute to the One solution above all – that people genuinely come to care more about themselves and their fellow humans and the Earth we live on.
It all goes together, because if you hate yourself, even just 15 per cent, it is hard to care about others. Inner conflicts must be solved first and no, these solutions do not lead to egotism. Self-love is not ego-love.
But how to achieve more inner peace for more people and the surplus and empathy to think more about their fellow people? How to contribute to that.
I believe sharing our lives and experiences and power on the Internet is a step of the way, but the Internet is also a reflection of everything that is vile in us – from pedophilia and terrorism to populism. It is both wonderful and terrible – the Internet.
But it might be the most important tool we need to finally feel more as one, on the inside and on the outside – we, the people of this Earth.
The question of how this tool can be used to achieve such ‘oneness’, or contribute to it – and find out what exactly it is that needs to be achieved – that is something I will probably spend the rest of my life on.
I thought a lot about it when I was younger, but despite routine and every day problems setting in, it seems as if this fundamental question never really went away. It is still with me. I’m still trying to define it – and its answers.
There are worse things to live with.