259. Whatever and Courage

After my recent stress-episode I wrote Big Photographer client about what limits I would impose on my email-time and pro bono work for him in the future. After which he promptly fired me.

After all the times I’ve had to swallow my pride to get that money and change myself, not the situation, because I felt it was necessary – and wait until I could afford to quit … he does it for me. And with plenty of bad excuses, of course.

I suspect a number of causes, including some arguments in recent months and his sense that I’m sliding more and more away from a place of respect for him. Which is correct. And now more, so.

So I suppose, after all that has gone before on this gig, I should feel bad that I did not slam the door, or had the courage change myself enough to slam that door earlier in our ‘cooperation’. I mean, I should feel humiliated, shouldn’t I?

But, honestly, I just feel kind of …’whatever’.

Perhaps that is a sign I already have the courage. It doesn’t matter that he acted first.

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