I believe that one of the major problems we have today, at least in the so called ‘rich’ part of the world, is that we don’t allow ourselves any really daring dreams.
Sure we may have them in bits and pieces here and there … but to really delve on our dreams?
To spend maybe … an hour daydreaming about how good it would be to get that girl- or boyfriend, to create that business, to do that project, to write that book … how much do we really do that?
I believe the answer is that we don’t do it enough. Dream, that is …
We are told, at least in some societies, that it is not ‘proper’ to dream of ‘unrealistic things’. Or ‘work first – dream later’. (If at all!) And so life becomes like politics:
The ‘art of the possible’ – devoid of visions or dreams.
But that is what is so wrong!
Visions and dreams are what sustains us! What gives us hope! Why don’t we nurture them more? Because it is socially unacceptable to dream ‘too much’ – to be ‘too unrealistic’? To spend time dreaming or even – ohmigod – writing down your dreams ever so often, visualizing them, feeling them etc??
So if we somehow feel constrained in dreaming, either by society or that inner critic that tells us we are ‘not good enough’ … then we have a real problem.
Because what do we do? We escape into meaningless pursuits – like watching telly three hours per day or checking Facebook.
Or some distractions that are… worse.
All of that meaningless stuff to escape the pain and frustration of our everyday lives instead of sitting down and using at least an hour every day, or maybe just half an hour, to really dream about what WE WANT.
Sometimes we can’t counter negative thoughts …
Sometimes we can’t feel good by balancing them either …
Sometimes we can’t deconstruct them …
Sometimes we need to put all that aside and focus on the dreams, the positive visions, the ‘perfect stuff’ that we yearn to have in our lives EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO GET IT THERE.
Could be a love interest.
Could be an elusive job with meaning and money coming in – equally.
Could be a business we are really passionate about
An art project
Or just that garden we always wanted to create for the house we really care about and have fought so hard to pay off.
Could be big or ‘small’ – but ‘bigger’ is often better. It goes to the meat and substance of who and what we are. Big dreams and visions are about what we want out of life.
I’ve read about shipwrecked sailors drifting around in a lifeboat for weeks or more before they were saved. Or prisoners of war. What sustained them was not only ‘trying to counter your negative thoughts’.
There is not much you can do to argue with the fact that it is a terrible situation to be in – stranded in a boat drifting the oceans, or in a deep dungeons somewhere.
Often, the only thing you can do – that will keep you alive – is dreaming of the freedom. Of salvation. Of your loved ones – meeting them again. That will feel like an incredible dream once you are away from them, so of course it is about perspective.
But the key is not that there are some dreams that are better or more right than others! They key is to acknowledge that you need to take time to focus on what you wish and want for, even if you don’t believe you can get it – or that it is very far away.
Do that consistently – telling yourself: ‘I know it is not true now, but it is a good day dream. It’s a fantasy. I am allowed that!’
What will happen?
You will gradually feel that … perhaps the dream of the new and Right job is not so unrealistic … the dream girl or boy is perhaps not so unrealistic … the dream business is perhaps not so unrealistic …
It could be within reach!
All because you allowed yourself to dream.
It’s all in the mind, right?
And no, I’m not saying that you will get EVERY-thing you want just by dreaming. Or that life will be perfect when you get one dream fulfilled.
But it’s a bit like sports psychology. Tennis players are told, I know, to imagine the perfect serve. Soccer players the perfect goal.
DON’T think about what you DON’T want to do – your mistakes, failures etc.
Think about what you want. Think about it as if you already have it.
There’s a lot of fluff psychology and law-of-attraction-schtick out there about this. I’m not buying much of it. I’m not saying you can magically get your dreams if you visualize them for 3 hours per day.
But … you raise your chances significantly.
Because by allowing yourself to dream you invite the power – the hope – into your mind and heart to take seriously this dream. You begin to believe that you can do it. Then you begin to take action. Then you raise your chances of actually doing it!
Changing whatever circumstance in your life you want. Perhaps not all – but much.
This is not only about negative thinking and yet is a LOT about that. It is about what we allow ourselves to dwell on – to be aware of. Or what we hold from ourselves and replace with, say, television crime dramas.
All of that is a decision about what fuel to put into our minds – how pure and fresh that fuel is. And we all know that good fuel makes the car run for longer and better, with fewer breakdowns. There is a greater chance you get where you want to be.
No magic. Just logic.
It is logical to dream. More than that. It is necessary.
In some ways as necessary as eating or breathing.
I know these are big words, but just think: What is your life worth if you constantly restrain yourself from dreaming ‘too much’ – imagining the good stuff you want to experience, to have, to think, to realize? What’s it worth?
Your life becomes mediocre – no, worse: A shell.
Don’t go that way. Turn right now – and start dreaming more.