347. Not So Difficult

A dreadful day in our old apartment in the City, because workers were going to and fro, tearing out the kitchen of the apartment above us.

The old lady who lived on the 1st floor had recently gone to a nursing home and now the owners of the building felt it was time to renovate the apartment before renting it out again, but without warning tenants with small children.

So we packed up quickly and drove back to the Provincial City and our borrowed house, which we have for one more week, before wife and kids of MPK (my old friend who owns the house) come back from Paris where they have been staying for some months now on an extended maternity leave while dad peruses the libraries at Sorbonne or other universities of renown.

A stressful day, but I suppose I should be grateful for the house and the option to go there, even if the window is diminishing, and there will be other work – plumbing – coming up in the near future in our own apartment block. And this one we cannot escape so easily.

But Char and Jay will go to her brother and sister-in-law, I think, when those plumbers finally come around and I will stay home and get everything done and try to get some work done.

I have earned about 2.5K USD these past four weeks, but not all the invoices of mine have been paid yet, so the final result is still exciting … so to speak. But I feel calmer now about it all.

I have decided – really decided – to leave any thought of building products or passive income or royalties or what the hell it is all called and just invest in my network of clients. I do good work, I pitch to the right people, I grow my network. Sooner rather than later I will begin to get even more calls to do webshops and websites, without having to work for it – simply due to knowing so many people who know so many people.

And that is enough for now, when it comes to the worry about getting money and getting it without having to market myself every day. I will work to create this type of income instead then, because after having thought about it and blogged about it for god-knows-how-many posts, I come again and again to the conclusion that I.Just.Don’t.Care. to do products or the like for my webdesign business.

I care about helping people, but when I have done that I would like to build up other assets, such as this blog, my still pressing ideas about some kind of fiction story before I die, and … maybe something with Char down the line. We have had our ideas before of various business and project ventures, so far without being able to realize them. But we are not dead yet.

So … patience, and let it go and just do this. This that works.

It feels good, and so I don’t have to think too much more about it in the near future, because then I just pitch to clients, do good work and repeat. And get good karma in return – or that is the idea. That is what I have seen so far. People come back to me. People refer to me. It gets easier.

I also need my mind space for many other things, so after skirting around this subject for the better part of a year – or years, if you really want to count – I feel great relief.

All I have to do now is to have faith and ice in the stomach while my credit, still stuffed with money borrowed from Char, counts down. In a few months, even under these conditions, I might have turned the tide and begin to make over 3K or 3.5K USD on average again per month which probably is the minimum to take care of expenses and my student and credit card debt payments. And the unforeseens.

How difficult can it be?

Apparently, once you make the decision to have faith and to set a certain course, it doesn’t feel all that difficult. It is the wavering that is difficult. The place where you are but you have not decided to stay. Or to go.