Lots of work today for an old client who returned to buy some more help for his webshop, so that is not important only good. What is important is trying to sum up some good observations from my recent Looking Back-exercise (which also includes a great deal of looking forward).
Here it is then … a very key part of my life right now – the reason I am doing The Blog:
It is blogging that gives me the sense of strength; that I reflect and feel deeply about something with a view to the silver lining. It is a hard-earned lesson, especially from the years in and about 2005 when I was in psychiatric hospital for some time due to rampant anxiety and whatnot. I
know I have to focus on the positive, on the good, in every thing – Everything.
Not deny the negative, or suppress it, but use the ‘focus on the ray of the light house’ so to speak to steer me through storms, to strike a balance. That is what Inner Power is about for me these days – not transcending fear, not suppressing it, not succumbing to it, but learning how to live with it, manage it, overcome it and sometimes dissolve it, but forever moving on towards something greater.
I know it sounds a bit … but this is really important. It is ultimately the emotional capability to do this – to look for the light, and use it to brace oneself as the dark comes – which is the key to survival in life. At least when physical survival is relatively assured as it is for people in my part of the world, for the statistically given number of years that we have.
First and foremost I have been affirmed through these baby-months, with so little time, and through my trials of trying to set up my business to be sustainable that I just can’t lose focus of what is important. And aside from the aforementioned – income and family – I am focusing on only one really important meaningful thing, in the greater scheme of things – so to speak. And that is The Blog.
The friendships are meaningful, yes, but that’s not the meaning I am talking about. The creative projects, if they ever come to fruition, are meaningful, yes, but not in this way.
Good customer service in my self-employment business holds a certain kind of purpose – helping people with their life project or business (which is often the same). But aside from all that and the usual about being a good man, brother, father, friend … there is not much in the way of Big Purpose for me, I believe, than to try to share my experiences.
I believe that it is not really possible anymore, as I believed when I was younger, to really change the world in my lifetime only contribute to some level of flow of positive change. Not very good way of putting it, but change is so slow and incremental if you want to contribute to something global and not just your immediate family or friends’ lives, or your own personal development.
You can work all life as a politician or voluntary worker and only see very local, very limited effects. Even the president of the United States don’t have much power, since the powers that be are locked in Congress and in the idiotic voting system, and – ultimately – in people’s belief systems and emotional readiness for change and for reaching out and not hiding and being reactionary.
All very high-brow, but if there is one way to truly make a difference – over time – today it is on the Internet where 17 year old fashion bloggers attract 17 million followers easily. So you can get attention, you can share something widely, and – over time – you can make a difference in people’s lives. I may only be able to reach a few thousand people over the years, in a way that really matters, and many more in more superfluous ways, but I do believe this is the best way – to blog. And blog to share. Experiences.
That is a very common thing to do and a very grounded thing to do, but the sense of purpose for me now is just as big as when I was younger and felt I had to take some kind of education that could help me know what was good for people in poor countries and then go advise their leaders or whatever. Oh, I did take such an education, all right – International Development – it was called, and added Communications to it.
But lots of people can do that better than I now, after I have been running around so much and doing all sorts of other things for years. And lots of people should just stay home and not get in the way of what the governments of Uganda or Chile decide to do – and what their people decide to do.
But some down there might need to read The Blog for awhile and feel some energy from the experiences and conclusions I draw. It could work for people everywhere, not just here in the cold North.