355. Not Dead Yet

Did a lot of client work today for people who have already paid me, but which is fine, since they might come back and pay me to do more on their websites. It is, though, not the currency of the soul and these days I feel I really need to get back to … some sense of my soul that is deeper than just family, work and worrying (about other family).

Those are reactions, and although they cannot and should not be kept down I should strive to find some ‘shelf’ in my inner space where they can stay for longer periods, so to speak. And then I can focus on, well, something more soulful which is about action, I guess. Feeling what I want to do, especially creating, and then doing it.

This is awful simplicity, but as a case in point, after all the business was done I went home alone, since Char is still with Jay down south. And even though tiredness is setting in I worked for the first time in a long time on that drawing project I have taken up and abandoned, it seems, like 12 times this year already.

But now I did not think much about past history or where I was going, I just went and did a little bit, and it gave me a lot of energy, just that hour or so I did that little bit.

I have resolved to draw 25 pages or so and then see if I am not dead. If I am not dead I can draw another story, perhaps at a greater pace.

And I am going to do it the old-fashioned way because this has become, after all the soul-searching you know about, something mostly for the sake of my soul – a meditative practice if you will that makes me feel good and rejuvenated, in all the ways.

So I want to put pencil on paper but use modern tools to help me. First I sketch a very detailed page in A4 with a bit of text. Then next. It is essentially a combo of script, breakdown and layouts all in one.

That is transferred to Photoshop where I put in references for background and some people and other parts and print it.

Then I put it on my A3 lightboard, because I have blown it up to A3 and I damn well want to draw in A3 again, as I did in the old days.

And then – sometime – the page is finished. But the process has been delightful. I think it is worth the time.

And now I must draw.