400. Looking Back (iv)

My last Look Back-post was Very Long, as if I was trying to make up for doing it as post 350 instead of post 300; so I’m going to try a different strategy this time.

As you should know by now, I started on Dec 29 2017 doing a number of list-posts summing up the most important reflections from the last 6 months or so – and from those categories that I feel are most important to focus on right now.

Here they are:

Since it follows (at least to me) that these posts and these categories represented in the 6 posts are the most important overall for me right now, I will only sum up one reflection from each of the 6 posts!

So 6 posts with selected reflections lead to six Very Important Reflections on what I have learned and concluded last autumn and this winter. And they should in turn be kept firmly in mind for the coming year.

Thus, wthout further ado, and starting with post 390, here are the six ‘VIP Reflections’ that should follow me into 2018:

  1. So money, miscast loyalty to others, and devotion to productivity methods that may work for others but not oneself. Those three agendas sucked
  2. I want to renew my vow to myself about making it my key priority to have a better life experience, regardless of circumstances.
  3. Family time is your most important asset in life.
  4. But more often than not, for my own life at least, I’ve found that I need to balance passion, purpose and profit – not try to force it into one place or activity.
  5.  You can make a difference in people’s lives … I do believe this is the best way – to blog. And blog to share. Experiences.
  6. Fear is not something you eliminate from life. It is something you learn to live with in better and better ways.

A handful of observations and comments here:

Family time is obviously an asset, with some nuances. Right now it is an asset because my spouse is also the one with the money – pure and simple. Not just because she is, in all other respects, the most important person in my life. I hope this is not misunderstood. What I am saying is simply this: Of course, family time would not be as important if we both were dirt-poor and I had to go and make money and she had to take care of Jay. However, with our recent decision to stress down and invest in me taking a fully active role in taking care of Jay instead of always negotiating about the hours I should use, I dare say that that investment is the best in the short term, even if my credit ends up suffering more (and it will). I had to make a choice that was clear, not muddy. And I did. We both did. We pay now, take care of Jay now, Char gets help now with her ‘broken’ hand. And I go back to work later. Not try to have it both ways in some combo. I had originally planned that with the best of intentions and I could see some possibilities of it working. But reality just struck back and made it un-work more often than work.

The conclusion  – vow if you will – about focusing on bettering my inner experience – that I cannot stress enough. It is paramount. I once mused about how much of life’s experience is made up of our inner experience (yeah,  I know EVERYthing is ultimately experience). But what I mean is, what if I spend 10 years trying to get a successful business working and fretting and stressing about it, and it is The Most Important Thing. And I don’t feel I can be truly happy without reaching this goal. Suppose then, all the time I use to achieve this goal and fret and stress. Maybe it will make me happy when I get there, yes. But what about the mean-time? What about all those moments that I could have spent relaxing and thinking of other things, from family to art to just taking a walk? Thinking and experiencing … what is the end result? What is the net happiness that I gain from letting my present be captive of some Big Goal in the future? Not that I should not have goals, mind you. But – again – the balance is So important. Otherwise what is the point?

I will reach both 500 and 600 posts in 2018, and I might change my focus on what is important overall a bit, but not much I suspect. Now it is more about defining concrete goals which are important to focus on and – as mentioned just before – in the right way. Without too much stress and fuss.

Generally, I can think of 3 concrete goals that link nicely to the aforementioned conclusions about What Is Important and What Should be Important:

  1. Bettering my relationship with Char – getting more sweetness into it. Every day. It has suffered much recently, that’s no secret, due to us becoming parents, work-related stress and family-related stress. They key is here to change some of the fundamentals, the ones we have control over. We must continue that.
  2. Continuing and consolidating my new art & writing project, Hammer and Magic. Continuing to make it something I do in my spare-time, the small breaks during the day instead of BBBB’ing. No time-limits, no word quotas, no big art ambitions. Just doing it to relax and getting on with building something from that relaxation I can be proud of in the future instead of wasting the time zoning out.
  3. Improving my business to make it more fun and getting more repeatable and predictable income (a new term I should have used long ago instead of passive income!)

So far so good. Now to make these goals even more concrete – or operational as they say.

And realize them.

That’s up next.

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