578. Peace and Now

I’m beginning to think that maybe all real problems of mine can be solved by going directly to the essential: Peace.

For example, my quest for a living income which is based on something with a bit of passion and purpose.

But also other kinds of problems that stress me.

Maybe I should say to myself: ‘Does this thing give me peace?’ and ‘Is this the right thing for me?’

If it is the right thing to do but does not give me peace, I am not doing it right.

If it is not giving me peace, under any circumstances, it is most certainly the wrong thing to do.

The two views are a bit difficult to separate, but they are important to keep in mind.

Even so.

And maybe more useful than anything else. Methods, goals, objectives, reminders, prayers and practices.

Maybe it can be boiled down to these questions. And you can then try to change the thing or the way to do the thing. Objective. Goal. Action. Task. Whatever.

All because what is of primary importance is peace, and we – I – tend to forget that.

Maybe then I could say to myself that since striving so much for this passionate purposeful income does not give me peace, I am certainly going about it the wrong way.

I feel that having this experience – of a more passionate, purposeful (and surer) income – would give me peace. And joy. And happiness.

So it is not the thing, but the way I try to get it.

So how to go about it instead? From this perspective?

Maybe say: ‘I know what to do, and I will do it, but otherwise not worry about the outcome’ – ?

That would give me immediate peace. But it would also be kind of crazily difficult.

How the hell do you stop worrying about an outcome of something so important?

Maybe by training yourself to realize that the outcome is something you can and should achieve now, before you actually get the thing.

Or at least part of it. Or a majority of it – “it” meaning peace. Or, I suppose in this case: Happiness. From spending all day doing a project where I story-tell and draw and communicate hope and meaning and in some way this covers my basic income needs and a little more for savings etc.

I’m not trying to repeat previous variations of posts on this subject.

I’m not trying to be metaphysical in the most supermarket-y way about this.

I’m trying to find a way to find peace – now – that actually works.

I feel I am on the track.

There is something – again – about the recognition that the feeling we ultimately strive for … it is something we can create in many different ways.

And yes, I remember that my goal was happiness – from drawing etc. and earning more money on that.

However, isn’t peace a pre-requisite for happiness?

I mean, how the hell can it ever work to strive for realizing something that will make you happy, but strive in a way that makes you feel stressed and struggling?

There’s that question again. And there is only one good answer.


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