84. Keeping the Embers Alive

A very focused day, which seemed to serve me well with my apparently-no-longer-that-difficult customer. And with other things.

My computer’s died so I use Char’s and have to get a new one soon – teaching and talks coming up.

Apartment’s still messy but at least we got a changing table set up for Jay.

An old friend’s had a rough time with her dad in hospital for a while. I haven’t felt like there was a breathing space to call her yet. I have to soon – like tomorrow.

There are many things I wish I could just stop and do, like writing a novella again. Or getting back to drawing. I seem stuck at drawing at the moment. Perhaps because I feel I have no place to do it, really, after rearranging the apartment.

I don’t even have a proper lamp set up at my new work table, which is really just the old work table moved to another room.

But drawing is important. Art …

I know that. I know thru bitter experience.

So I can’t let it die because of babies, money, mess or even friends in need.

I have to find a Space for it. Both in my mind, in time and in … where we live. Or elsewhere.

Only one place in room two where we put the desk, small dining table, a bed and the rest of the books and Other Things.

Only one place. Where there isn’t too much mess. Kind of. Or so it feels.

The bed.

I’ll put a few strokes to the paper there, before I sleep. Just a few.

It’s better than nothing and I have to do more than nothing to keep those embers alive.

Then … at some point, give or take a baby’s upbringing and 1001 stressful workdays, there will be more order in the apartment again.

Or elsewhere. Or in my head. Whatever comes first …

Order enough so I feel better about sitting down somewhere and drawing for longer. In a suitable, good enough space. So it is actually physically possible to do it!

But the very first thing to do is to keep those embers in that space where they need to be always, no matter what:

Alive.

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