97. Out of the F-Zone

I put together drawers for the new Big Cupboard today, then went to dinner with a friend, then put together more drawers. Char was only feeling slightly better and was in the other room (with the Rest of the Stuff) a good part of the day, sleeping out her second cold in two weeks.

It would have been a dreary day, in many ways, but I felt it was worth a significant lot.

At one point I looked at the new Big Cupboard (2.5 x 2.5 meters or thereabouts) and thought that it was nice to feel grateful for a simple, yet very important material thing like this.And to have almost built it, with more than a little help from my dad.

During the day my ideas for That Story were slowly coming together, amazingly. I worked and was busy, but the ideas came. Apparently, as I mused yesterday, once I got out of the ‘fear zone’, ideas had free access.

Talk about self-fulfilling prophecies … !

It is banal but really true, isn’t it?

If you are afraid you can’t do something, you often … can’t do it. Like getting into that storytelling groove again and making something of it.

Well, I know my limitations, so I’ll start as light as possible, just posting a story in a forum on the net and see where it goes. Then at least I’ll have a small audience right away and someone to give a bit of input.

And I don’t expect to do anything more than a series of novellas again, because I know I can write novellas – even if they are linked chronologically, like episodes in a TV-series.

As for illustration, well, we’ll see … right now I feel like my ‘I give up doing comic books for good’-realization might have to lead to walk the talk.

An illustrated fiction text is perhaps a bit trying to have it both ways, so why not just go with illustrating my talks?

I want to do that again, like I did with my Inca Princess-talk. So I’m not worried about getting to draw more again, for the sake of my soul that wants it still. I just have to find a new direction for my soul.

At least now I have affirmed for myself that there is one.