320. Fear Is Something You Learn To Live Better With

My mom called today and said she is going to have surgery in 10 days to remove her remaining breast. It seems like the cancer-tumor is local.

She is exhausted as are the rest of us, but given the situation’s severity this is by far the best outcome.

I had thought I would still be relatively anxious afterwards and think about what if they discover cancer-cells in the lymphatic system during the operation (a standard test)?… Read more

315. Not The Valley

After feeling emotionally in a hole these past days, there is a renewed sense of … some strength. I have had this feeling before that I should not take anything for granted about what is going to happen now.

Like I wrote:

Don’t take anything for granted.

Don’t take for granted that this is the time for my mother to die, and it’s going to be very sad and painful, and everything is going to fall apart.

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313. A Prayer To The Soul

So we went back to the borrowed house in a nearby smaller city to get a little away from our cluttered (albeit better-looking-with-new-couch) apartment in the bigger city. Kind of like going on holiday, except that in my heart there never seems to be a holiday.

Since Char’s father died in 2015 there have been other deaths – my aunt, from a heart attack; Char’s grandmother after a long period of suffering from all kinds of things.… Read more