Tomorrow it’ll be Jay’s 1st birthday and thus almost a year ago that we had a really hard experience getting him here.
But I am heartened that despite the lingering pain of that memory, everyday new wonderful memories are added in the other stack – of his life, what it is, what it can be, what it will be.… Read more
… you one the one hand are really, really angry and feel like saying something nasty to your spouse who can’t or won’t understand why lack of sleep and time to yourself got to you first, when she is preoccupied with her own lack …
… and on the other your heart is genuinely old-fashionedly melting when you see your 11 month old son trying to drink from a cup.… Read more
MRN and his wife had a son today. The best of news after all the time we thought they could not.
And before they thought so, Char and I thought so. (And while we thought so, they thought still they could.)
Apparently they decide when miracles happen.… Read more
We went to the hospital today to get a sort of routine check on Jay and his body development – how things are with those cramped muscles that made him turn mostly right in the first months of his life, and made his head a bit skewed because of the uneven pressure.… Read more
I try to cram in time to connect with other bloggers, but as should be no secret by now, that is really a challenge for me given my current life.
It has been really hard for me to find other blogs of interest, also. I know that sounds snobby but I realize it is also a fault of my own to an extent: I have not spent enough time thinking about what kind of blogs I want to connect with, for example.… Read more
Just working throughout the day, and working with caffeine-withdrawal, too, so I’d like to shift the focus a bit.
I’d like to sound like I actually do something else than think about my own ego, work-life-balance and such.
I’d like to note a few thoughts on Jay that have been very powerful and have come again and again these recent months, as I’ve seen him grow from a newborn to a 4-month old baby:
There is so much potential in a newborn, so much promise, so much innocence.… Read more
Today I read a book for my son for the first time. It was a small ‘book’ with pages very thick of some plastic like material and hole and rounded corners he could grab.
The ‘plot’ was about a teddy bear taking a bath, then going to bed and then getting up in the morning.… Read more
Was alone home today, whilst working and it was a strange feeling.
I was glad to have the time, without interruptions. Also to just sit back after work and enjoy a whiskey.
But I also missed Jay and Char very much.
I both needed them to be there and not to be there, at least that day.… Read more
Today we checked out a possible nursery for Jay and were both quite taken aback.
It was just … too big. 72 children for six rooms, and the building not particularly inviting.
I know this is reality for many here, and probably worse in less rich parts of the world – if they even have such things as nurseries.… Read more
Jay was kind of impossible all day and we didn’t really find out why. We were still at my parents which was a a down in a sense (I’m writing this Friday, panting to catch up). I guess I wanted the time there to be more perfect and baby-coo-coo.
Which is silly, of course.… Read more
Alone one whole evening with Jay for the first time and it went rather badly. He wouldn’t take the bottle, or even a small glass of milk from Char. Not without screaming his lungs out.
I stopped after a while and just let him sleep in the carriage until Char came home.… Read more
Another day with work, prep for baptism and more work – home-work with Jay. And I must say it again:
When you have children you automatically have more conflicts – the adults. Being 42 and 43 is no security against that.
However, if your relationship is old, too, and has grown old through trials then age makes you more secure in your ability to solve the conflicts that do arise.… Read more
The big contrast to the occasional sinking feeling about how the birth went is of course the one we experience every day, with Jay. I swear that baby has the world’s cutest smile and I am sure I can prove scientifically that no other baby smiles just as wonderfully as Jay does!… Read more
What a difference it makes.
We suspected he had stomach problems, because of something Char ate – perhaps egg plants – that then ‘came through’ to him in the milk.
It’s not as hocus pocus as it sounds, that some foods eaten by mothers, really irritate their breast-feeding children. What is hocus pocus is people trying to convince you that strawberries, for example, are bad for all babies.… Read more