After feeling emotionally in a hole these past days, there is a renewed sense of … some strength. I have had this feeling before that I should not take anything for granted about what is going to happen now.
Like I wrote:
Don’t take anything for granted.
Don’t take for granted that this is the time for my mother to die, and it’s going to be very sad and painful, and everything is going to fall apart.
… Read more
Spent most of this date redesigning my company website to make it focus more on webshops, because that is what my customers – the ones I’ve had so far – want.
I write this one day after my mother called and said she had a tumor in her remaining breast. She had cancer once before, in 2003, and survived.… Read more
These past weeks have been a deluge of baby-care, dealing anew with the trauma of the birth after Char began therapy again for it, trying to remake our small apartment to a better home for a family, and, well, moving – temporarily to a new house.
The latter is a borrow from a friend who is in Paris with his family, but it is a good borrow even if the logistics added have been heavy … It is a base we can use until we get sorted out the other stuff, and get new energy from being in a real house – relatively big, definitely in order, and with a garden around and quiet neighborhood.… Read more
I just felt like getting this out, and set into words what I have found the most powerful way to feel a kind of peace, for both Char and I, during this uncharted journey.
It’s not like we haven’t tried such journeys before, either literally when we were abroad together, or during great family shakeups, illness, death, unemployment …
And our age does count, I suppose, for something, when it comes to … just dealing with it all.… Read more
I’ve been thinking about four universal ways in which we (can) handle Crises in life: Big stuff – like somebody dying or losing our health or livelihood. Those categories.
I suppose you could call them strategies but in reality they are probably more like modes of action, derived from a combination of habits, capabilities and whatever social and spiritual support we can command at any given moment.… Read more
I think I’ve found a close-to-optimal way of being ready for Jay’s birth these days, which is something considering how much I’ve fretted before.
Not that there isn’t something left to fret about, but that’s not the issue. The issue is what I choose to do in the wait, to feel ready to go at moment’s notice, yet not obsessing about anything.… Read more
I put together drawers for the new Big Cupboard today, then went to dinner with a friend, then put together more drawers. Char was only feeling slightly better and was in the other room (with the Rest of the Stuff) a good part of the day, sleeping out her second cold in two weeks.… Read more
Operation Cupboard continued today. So did much of the Mess. Char got ill. I got a whiny mail from Difficult Client. I doubted if I had the courage to go through with this whole father-thing for the nth time.
But then I remembered … someone once said that making a quick decision even if it turns out to be in need of adjustment later, is good.… Read more
Another Rearrange Appartment-weekend.
I need to throw out or store books etc. from the old shelves so only about 30 per cent is left to fit on the new shelves we are going to put up.
In place of the old shelves there will be our new big cupboard with clothes for all of us.… Read more
I woke feeling like somebody has stolen my energy, irritated and anxious.
But it helped that I got right off building the new ‘office’ in room 2 and then completed a task for a new (steady) customer. I can’t remember if I wrote earlier that I got all the various approvals, registrations and rubber stamps for my company after much soul-searching.… Read more