235. No Platitudes

Saw an interview with a musician who lost his wife in a heart-wrenching accident: She fell at their home, through a glass door, and died of blood loss.

It struck me:  ‘What would I say to such a man if we were to meet?’

Is it possible to say anything? I dearly would want to.… Read more

41. Consolation

I just discovered that a good acquaintance of my had lost her partner. Massive stroke. Just like that.

We’ve only known each other through social media, so it could be easy to ignore or write something superficial.

I try not to. Life, and especially death, are not superficial.

One of the things I wrote to her, bears repeating.

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28. A Necessary Book

I gave up writing novels last year.

I had tried since the early 1990s to write a novel and each time I had failed.

So I finally admitted that I was simply not cut out for that. And moved on.
It was a relief.

It was the right decision.

Now … as we were on the train home today, Char and I, from visiting my parents over the New Year, I was thinking about death.… Read more

17. Sorrow’s Opportunity

For every instance of grief and hopelessness, every experience of it, there is an opportunity to do some good elsewhere. This opportunity is, in a sense, fueled by the sorrow of the very situation that seems so devoid of any ‘good’.

The opportunity arises if enough energy can be mustered, from the insistence on bringing balance in one’s perspective … which can be done when one is ready.… Read more