183. When The Truth Is That You Are No Longer Friends And Probably Never Will Be Again

So an old friend, CS, came by yesterday evening, out of the blue as she is wont to. She hasn’t visited in over a year.

She wanted to see Jay and was very nice and had brought gifts and fodder for the evening. Ultimately she hadn’t brought much of herself. I felt, as usual, more like a connection in a business network she wanted to ensure she still had access to than I felt like getting a visit from an old friend.… Read more

174. What I Learned From Throwing Out Old Letters

Sorted 5 bags worth of old letters not so long ago. Some of them from 1989. Most from the mid- and late 90s. Back when you still wrote letters …

It’s actually some months ago, but since I’m continually revising and cleaning up both my house and my life, these days more than ever with baby-Jay as our new family-member, I figured this experience still is relevant to recount.… Read more

156. What Matters

Yesterday a friend tried to send me a CD with a new music album his wife had made, but it got nicked by some postal-worker en route.

I can get a new copy, of course, but I hate when people steal from me – esp. something personal like this. We’ve been friends for almost 30 years, MRN and I, and I care very much for his wife, LR, who is a beautiful person like her husband, as well as extremely talented.… Read more

110. Seven Defining Characteristics of Deep Friendship

1) A friend knows. Knows me.  Knows changes. Knows time. And cares. And I know that he knows and cares.

2) Friends grow old in the right way. For the right purpose. Like something you drink that warms you for a long time after. That’s worth ageing.

3) There are exceptions, but the rule is probably that it is dangerous to confuse colleagues and friends.… Read more