A quieter day where I tried not to work, as promised to Char, and then kept looking for opportunities to do something anyway. Originally I reckoned that I would blog, but I ended up redoing my landing page at my business website in the 1.5 hours or thereabouts I did get of spare time throughout the day.… Read more
My dad called me to update me on my mother’s chemo and that they had been to a meeting with the doctors and still were undecided. I was helping Char feed Jay and pondering how to fit new clients in today’s family-schedule, so it kind of caught me off guard and I felt down afterwards.… Read more
A dreadful day in our old apartment in the City, because workers were going to and fro, tearing out the kitchen of the apartment above us.
The old lady who lived on the 1st floor had recently gone to a nursing home and now the owners of the building felt it was time to renovate the apartment before renting it out again, but without warning tenants with small children.… Read more
Didn’t get much done today because of logistics – packing the borrowed car and going from our own apartment to the borrowed house. We had been staying at our real home in the weekend plus Monday to get some chores done, and now I had to drive a baby and lots of stuff to B without going crazy.… Read more
My mother’s breast cancer operation went well, all things considered and she was home from the hospital the same evening. She sounded relatively good on the phone, although the uncertainty about the future feels as vulnerable as the part of her body where they cut her.
At least when I think of it.… Read more
Reality set in today (for the nth time) as I tried to eke out work-hours while Char was away with Jay from the house, for as long as she could do it with her tenosynovitis and morale keeping up with autumn mist-rain.
I got about 4 hours, not all of them good.… Read more
Living in my friend’s house, while he and his family is in Paris, is a real help – even if my mum wasn’t ill.
It’s spacier, which is always nice when you have a baby, but above all it is calm and quiet. It’s just as much the neighborhood that helps.… Read more
It has dawned on me that even in a best-case scenario on Friday, nothing is really definitively ‘resolved’ as regards my mother’s new cancer.
Best case is that the tumor is local and that they can take it out of the breast without further ado, maybe by injecting chemo.
But what then?… Read more
In a situation of waiting and uncertainty – to know if my mother has cancer again and how bad it is – I would love to have given some advice to myself, and then to others. The problems is, I’m not sure I’m ready to follow such advice yet.
I feel locked inside, stuck.… Read more
This morning I felt slightly mad – lashing out at everyone, specifically the only two persons nearby: Char and Jay.
The lashes were only verbal but stung, no less. And made the world worse. Not better, even though that is how it feels when it feels like you want to lash someone with words.… Read more