Rough day yesterday, between Char and I. The stress from too much work, too much baby, and too many events had not faded enough – even after the baptism – and made me angry at a great many things.
But we survived, again, as we have done so often in our 20 years together.… Read more
Sleep poorly these days, feel there’s too much work and then of course preparing the baptism and keeping up with Jay every day. It’s not awfully bad but it’s not particularly good either.
Maybe I am affected by something not entirely of my own making, sometimes I do feel like a certain negative ‘energy’ latches on to me from people or places.… Read more
I tried before Jay’s birth to limit my internet-use – to internet detox.
I realized that I had begun using the net as a kind of TV, just zapping through channels, numbing my mind: Facebook, emails, news, repeat.
It colonizes my mind and makes my experience of life … less. I don’t sense as much, feel as much.… Read more
Just for a few minutes. After some meetings at the shared work space for upcoming entrepreneurs, which I used to frequent while I was still getting paid my insurance for unemployment.
Before I just went out and became an entrepreneur…
Anyway, I had met up with a guy who does communications in the life sciences and a lot of other stuff.… Read more
Time to be philosophical – not in the least because the day has been anything but, with breadwinner-work and baby-work.
Okay, here goes:
Happiness and peace taken together equals a sense of … beauty.
This is first and foremost and inner experience, or an inner journey if you will, since there is nothing fixed about it.… Read more
So I’m sitting at this local cafe, living ‘the laptop lifestyle’, sipping latte and blogging about what’s on my mind.
Except that I’m doing it to escape our two-roomer and a baby and get an overview of what’s in my mind. Or rather: Check a growing feeling of despair this morning.… Read more
… for me to earn money in a way that’s enjoyable.
I’m amazed that at this stage of my life, 43, I have not been able to put my skill, experience, intuition to better use to make more money in more satisfying ways.
I’m amazed and deeply humbled.
What can redeem all of this is if I can put that insight and sense of humility to good use, for myself or others, in the future, and thus leave something of deep value behind.… Read more
Being so much more constricted as I am, with regard to time and energy, due to having to look after Jay and the home front and earn money from my own company and dealing with all kinds of difficult customers (or lack of them in the process) …
Yeah, I know it sounds like a litany of woe-me.… Read more
… being sent home from hospital a day too early (in my reckoning). My brother, who is a paramedic, came by today with his wife and gave me reason to think so.
He said: “Sometimes you have to insist of a certain treatment in the medical system, not just bow to authority.… Read more
A really dreadful day and night, perhaps the worst in my life since I was hospitalized 12 years ago for acute anxiety and generally losing my marbles. We shouldn’t have come home so early after the operation and dead-tired and with a little child, but we didn’t know how to say that to the hospital.… Read more