160. The Strand

The day after Jay’s birth we were in tatters. Having ended with an emergency cesarean all our dreams about how this should be (for years if we include the fertility treatments since 2011) …  crashed. He was there and he was alive and we had to take care of him but it was difficult.… Read more

157. Piss in the Pants

Now that I’m about a week into my (second) internet detox-run this year, I’m truly beginning to appreciate how addicted I have been to the Internet. (And how ironic it is that my best medium for conveying this addiction to a larger audience is … the Internet.)

As noted elsewhere my goal is for 30 days to NOT view anything on the Internet which is not “vital” or related to my personal goals – such as: strengthening certain friendships, helping my webdesign business with concrete tasks, helping me with concrete problems about writing and publishing.… Read more

153. Detox II

I awoke with my head full of rampaging thoughts, about everything from work to sex to trivialities and I hated it. It’s not as if it happens so often anymore, but it is a reflection of a larger issue:

I still use woefully little of my mental capacity to actually drive towards the goals that mean something to me.… Read more

152. The Best of It

Our son should have been born today, at least according to the doctors’ predictions. He wasn’t.

Not a world-shattering problem, but I must admit the waiting time is getting to us. So we tried to make the best of it and went out into the sun.… Read more

136. Up

Waiting in the cinema for an old friend, and a showing of National Live Theater direct from London, which should make me feel all cultivated, pleasantly aloof and stylish. Instead I feel like a vagabond of sorts.

I biked up here from my rent-an-office-space, the parka not being quite right because the weather is in-between autumn and spring still; and my general physical condition is below average.… Read more

113. For Life

These past days I’ve been feeling stressed – too stressed, thoughts racing, even my movements too rapid. Like a film set to go at 1.25 instead of 1.00 speed. And that is 0.25 points too much.

This Will Not Stand.

The quality of my life is measured by how I experience it and I have to chose to experience it differently now.… Read more