118. This Is It

So maybe this is odd, but I swear – it has made me feel more alive than what I have felt in a long time.

Just thinking, talking and acting slower – much slower – than I usually do. This is how to do it.

This is how to get that quality – that presence – that mindfulness – call it what you want.

This is to get what I longed for, but didn’t know that I longed for until I felt really, really empty inside for months on end… And I have.

But it is over now. I will keep this way of being here in the world up this time. This time I will be here – with every part of my self.

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113. For Life

These past days I’ve been feeling stressed – too stressed, thoughts racing, even my movements too rapid. Like a film set to go at 1.25 instead of 1.00 speed. And that is 0.25 points too much.

This Will Not Stand.

The quality of my life is measured by how I experience it and I have to chose to experience it differently now. Before it gets too late all over again.

A part of that decision is about saying no to certain experiences, out in the world. Another part is saying no to thoughts like racehorses in my inner world.

But above all I have to take it seriously and not just let myself be cascaded away by outer and inner events.

I have to stop. And start over.

For my life.

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77. First Silence

The most important thing is still that I felt calm – much more calm – throughout such a busy day, with so many uncertainties in view.

That must be because I detoxed. Cut off bad social media, bad news, bad noise.

From the Internet.

Only went with what was necessary

So … can I keep this shift real this time? Or will I fall back into the ‘need for noise?’

Is the inner silence and its inherent peace enough?

Today I am not in doubt.

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65. Life – Thing or Journey?

I could try to say to myself every morning I get up:

“What shall I do on this day in my life-journey?” (Or just: “On this day of the journey?”)

By doing so I train myself to see my life as a journey.

And for me a journey has always been something positive.

It has a goal. A meaning. Even if a lot of terrible stuff happens along the way and you get stuck for 3 days in an airport somewhere

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63. A Different Story

What you could do when feeling overwhelmed is to re-tell this personal story as if it was … a journey-story. It begins not with a first step, though – but with a map. Our hero(es) are set out to go – like the Fellowship of the Ring – into the big confusing world. They need a map and they need to take time to make that map. So do you. But they (you) also know that once they have a map – even if it’s just a simple one – the journey has already become a bit easier.

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51. Grit

So today I spent a lot of time marketing my new company, and nothing really happened except that I spend a lot of time. And began to doubt that I would ever make it. I guess the only sane response to such feelings is to grit your teeth.

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49. Phased Life

This blog is what I’ve been wanting to do. Because there is so much more to share. I don’t think I would have done it as CEO of that other company. Then I would have been counting beans now. Not thinking about so many other things to share. So maybe I am in the right place, and those phases of life (finish education, get career, start family) are just illusions. At least insofar as I think of myself having ‘failed’ to complete a couple of them 10 and 20 years ago.

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37. Not a Description.

Your ability to earn money is a measure of how well you handle a tool that allows you to live as you want to live – and therefore be. It is not a description of who you already are and what you are worth. But in our society you have to work harder to internalize that perspective well and truly – much harder than you ever have to work to earn your first million.

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