Spent the last day in the borrowed house cleaning and shopping and doing family-stuff. I had planned some work but I had to write the clients and tell them I postponed things for various opaque reasons, because as the morning progressed I realized it would not be a good day if I did not make a choice.… Read more
A lot of driving, to fetch Char and Jay from family birthday down south and then go home and fall asleep very tired – after doing all the usual baby-stuff. But before noon I had some time to myself and even though I had to do dishes and laundry I got thinking about my vision again …
Yeah, about that story on a blog with all sorts of what-not-articles on it as well – mostly reviews of other articles.… Read more
Sunday was still a low-key day, not so much by choice but because I still felt exhausted emotionally and, in part, physically. Naturally housework began to creep up on us, but my thoughts were still forming on how best to approach my work and earn some money soon after all the idleness, voluntary and involuntary.… Read more
My mom called today and said she is going to have surgery in 10 days to remove her remaining breast. It seems like the cancer-tumor is local.
She is exhausted as are the rest of us, but given the situation’s severity this is by far the best outcome.
I had thought I would still be relatively anxious afterwards and think about what if they discover cancer-cells in the lymphatic system during the operation (a standard test)?… Read more
So we went back to the borrowed house in a nearby smaller city to get a little away from our cluttered (albeit better-looking-with-new-couch) apartment in the bigger city. Kind of like going on holiday, except that in my heart there never seems to be a holiday.
Since Char’s father died in 2015 there have been other deaths – my aunt, from a heart attack; Char’s grandmother after a long period of suffering from all kinds of things.… Read more
I believe it was the philosopher Kant who said that the intention of what we do is just as important as what we do – or how well we do it.
Okay, I don’t remember if it was Kant, but … the idea is right: The intention matters. It matters a helluva lot.… Read more
Another day which was nothing out of the ordinary, except maybe that I felt in doubt again about a thousand things.
Had I missed my opportunity to make ‘something’ off my life?
Would I ever be able to make a decent income with my business or in a job?
Would I ever get to live somewhere I liked and felt good about?… Read more
Teaching WordPress all day and getting paid for it, which begs the question – how can I get to do that again?
Which begs the question: Why do I want to work, when I should create ‘passive income’ based on royalties from a product-line etc? [Sarcastic reference to previous attempts at creating this reality in my work-life?]
I think it comes down to this again: That I do enjoy giving – I do enjoy the real-life connection – I do enjoy seeing the results, or lack thereof.… Read more
A long train-ride home gives you time to think about the essentials of life.
I had deliberately not planned work or even reading, although I did a little of the latter. But Jay behaved nicely and the other passengers behaved nicely, too, and the train was on time.
Still, it felt good to use large stretches of time, aside from talking with Char and holding Jay, to just look out the window and take stock.… Read more
Apropos my recent introspection about and decision to not push myself to draw …
In late 2015, I made the Pretty Big Decision of shelving a fantasy novel I had been working on for 3 years.
Another one for the deskdrawer …
It may come up again. It may not. But then it finally became official in October 2015:
It’s shelved.… Read more