466. Stop

I have a really fucking long list of things to day that could keep me from doing something I really love, things that are Very Important – from cleaning house to searching for customers.

But I don’t do them.

I do the other thing.

And I realize more and more that this is what I have to do in order to get time to do that other thing – which I love.… Read more

383. The Right Motivations This Time

Char came home with Jay and they had had a good trip down south to the family, and the rest of the day was pretty much waiting and prepping for the other big trip this month – to my parents’.

Everything else is on standby, as expected.

I’ve been thinking about under what conditions a creative project equals stress, if I can’t work on it, like on a day like this.… Read more

372. Easy and Hard

Dragged an old drawer Char has inherited from her mum back down from the attic, because we don’t have enough space – even with our new mega-cupboard. Jay’s toys and clothes are already piling up, but I don’t think that’s so much of a problem anymore. In fact, it feels easier and easier to clean up and let go of our stuff, and also to decide which of his things to keep.… Read more

336. The Way Forward

A lot of driving, to fetch Char and Jay from family birthday down south and then go home and fall asleep very tired – after doing all the usual baby-stuff. But before noon I had some time to myself and even though I had to do dishes and laundry I got thinking about my vision again …

Yeah, about that story on a blog with all sorts of what-not-articles on it as well – mostly reviews of other articles.… Read more

320. Fear Is Something You Learn To Live Better With

My mom called today and said she is going to have surgery in 10 days to remove her remaining breast. It seems like the cancer-tumor is local.

She is exhausted as are the rest of us, but given the situation’s severity this is by far the best outcome.

I had thought I would still be relatively anxious afterwards and think about what if they discover cancer-cells in the lymphatic system during the operation (a standard test)?… Read more

313. A Prayer To The Soul

So we went back to the borrowed house in a nearby smaller city to get a little away from our cluttered (albeit better-looking-with-new-couch) apartment in the bigger city. Kind of like going on holiday, except that in my heart there never seems to be a holiday.

Since Char’s father died in 2015 there have been other deaths – my aunt, from a heart attack; Char’s grandmother after a long period of suffering from all kinds of things.… Read more

276. Reminders

Teaching WordPress all day and getting paid for it, which begs the question – how can I get to do that again?

Which begs the question: Why do I want to work, when I should create ‘passive income’ based on royalties from a product-line etc? [Sarcastic reference to previous attempts at creating this reality in my work-life?]

I think it comes down to this again: That I do enjoy giving – I do enjoy the real-life connection – I do enjoy seeing the results, or lack thereof.… Read more