197. New Drive

I have thought a lot about what drives me. Ask me and I will say ‘never fame or money’ – never to a certain ‘position’ in politics, business or culture. None of that.

But if I really see what’s inside myself I am not so sure.

I am sure, though, when I really, really feel what I want … that I don’t want those drives.… Read more

191. So Where To Go From Here?

That’s the question I ask each morning when I go out in the neighborhood with Jay in his carriage, so Char can get some extra sleep.

It would also be a good question for my life currently. With regard to a number of themes.

Since I am so restricted with time and energy right now, helping raise Jay, trying to earn a minimum income regularly through my firm, and doing dishes 3 days old, this is not an easy question to answer.… Read more

178. How I Sabotage Myself From Earning Money

Today I was supposed for the first time to go back to my own office space and rake in more customers to my web consultant business. I was supposed to start, after 3 weeks of leave due to the birth of Jay, to plug the whole in my credit account.

But instead I went to my office space and did a lot of thinking.… Read more

175. The Power of the Past

I was thinking this morning, as I sometimes do, with a vague nostalgia about the time I lived in the second largest city of the country. Over 20 years ago …

We lived three young people in a shared apartment and the days went by with me working in an after school club and then in the evening the two of us sometimes went to the cinema and to events about comics and movies.… Read more

171. I Momentarily Felt Anxious About My Prospects of Success

… when it comes to earning money in a way that’s better than now.

Not news, really, although this time it came to me while walking Jay in his carriage Very Early this morning, dead-tired and wondering if I was ever going to get time enough to get some of the (other) successes I craved in life.… Read more

124. Dimensions Worth Remembering

After yesterday’s considerations about persistence and hope when trying to make a living, at least partially, as a writer in the 21st century, I knew I had forgotten something…

Something important.

Like:

It’s good to remember that if I write 500 words per day on stories I love for the next 10 years then making mental room and spending calendar time for and on that … is worth the most.… Read more

101. You Buy Me Things

So I went to a client today to teach him how to do a webshop in Woocommerce/Wordpress, and for a moment I got distracted by the fact that his apartment is so much bigger, nicer and better than ours. Dumb, but true.

It’s there, by the harbor, in one of the new apartment projects that shot up in the City these last decades or so.… Read more

80. Let Go and Live

One of the days when I felt … affected somehow to see other persons as annoying or hostile towards me, intentionally. First choice of view.

Whatever the reason, I feel glad to say that I managed to let go of it all at the end of the day.

And let go of my looming hostility towards myself for not being able to let go of it all sooner.… Read more