458. Next 20

I have had this idea for sometime that a nice way of thinking of my next birthday is that I get the chance to start over.

Yeah, that’s right – all the stuff I did not know at 24 I get to do differently at 44 and on.

And some stuff I have done so I don’t need to do it again.… Read more

407. We Spend Our Lives

Continuing the echoes …                                                                                                   

‘We spend our lives, all of us, waiting for the great day, the great battle, or the deed of power. But that external consummation is not given to many: nor is it necessary. So long as our being is tensed, directed with passion, towards that which is the spirit of all things, then that spirit will emerge from our own hidden, nameless effort.

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384. What Makes Life Stronger?

So we got on the X-mas train for my parents’ town, 4 hours away, and it wasn’t quite as filled as I feared, but it was no joyride either – with baby Jay and a bunch of other kids.

But after all the ruckus back home and in recent weeks, with the apartment renovation, spots of hours to work and then some free days to catch up on just cleaning up and clearing out … well, it felt good to go to my parents’ home, even if it’s a bit away.… Read more

351. Refocusing The Purpose

I believe that it is not really possible anymore, as I believed when I was younger, to really change the world in my lifetime only contribute to some level of flow of positive change. Not very good way of putting it, but change is so slow and incremental if you want to contribute to something global and not just your immediate family or friends’ lives, or your own personal development.… Read more

288. Seeing Behind The Void

Had a really trying day, where I fixed some stuff for clients and tried to promote my live-talks and felt all round rotten and drained. In fact: on the verge of giving up and going home many times.

I didn’t. I forced myself to keep going, even though I made mistakes and was continually dissatisfied with my work – for example, the emails I sent out to promote the live-talk about Robinson.… Read more

263. The Chance

I didn’t do a month of blogging about my subject for my next live-talk about fascinating historical persons – namely ‘the real Robinson Crusoe’ a.k.a. Scottish 18th century sailor, Alex Selkirk.

And now I’m not going to do it. And least not in a streak.

Too many disruptions recently has made me rethink this one, but I am going to use one of the major disruptions positively, namely the loss of Big Photographer Client, for whom I work two days a week plus all the loose change.… Read more

246. No Diversions

The Necessities of Hunger and Thirst, were his greatest Diversions from the Reflection on his lonely Condition. When those Appetites were satisfied, the Desire of Society was as strong a Call upon him, and he appeared to himself least necessitious when he wanted every thing; for the Supports of his Body were easily attained, but the eager Longings for seeing again the Face of Man during the Interval of craving bodily Appetites, were hardly supportable.

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220. Moving On Despite

Just re-read 159 about Jay’s birth by Cesarean and how bad we felt about it, and I wonder what has changed here on his 2-month birthday.

The answer is ‘a lot’ and ‘not a lot’.

It still makes me feel bad to think about it. I still feel we were robbed of something beautiful, even if what happened was the right thing and the most important thing – Jay got out alive and well.… Read more