246. No Diversions

The Necessities of Hunger and Thirst, were his greatest Diversions from the Reflection on his lonely Condition. When those Appetites were satisfied, the Desire of Society was as strong a Call upon him, and he appeared to himself least necessitious when he wanted every thing; for the Supports of his Body were easily attained, but the eager Longings for seeing again the Face of Man during the Interval of craving bodily Appetites, were hardly supportable.

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220. Moving On Despite

Just re-read 159 about Jay’s birth by Cesarean and how bad we felt about it, and I wonder what has changed here on his 2-month birthday.

The answer is ‘a lot’ and ‘not a lot’.

It still makes me feel bad to think about it. I still feel we were robbed of something beautiful, even if what happened was the right thing and the most important thing – Jay got out alive and well.… Read more

121. Messages in a Bottle

Today is my 43rd birthday, and who would’ve thought I’d make it this far? Sure, I live in one of the safest, richest places in the world but the enemies haven’t come from without as much as within.

In 1999-2006 I was depressed on and off, culminating in rampant anxiety, obsessive thoughts and hospitalization in 2005.… Read more