… Read more
The Necessities of Hunger and Thirst, were his greatest Diversions from the Reflection on his lonely Condition. When those Appetites were satisfied, the Desire of Society was as strong a Call upon him, and he appeared to himself least necessitious when he wanted every thing; for the Supports of his Body were easily attained, but the eager Longings for seeing again the Face of Man during the Interval of craving bodily Appetites, were hardly supportable.
Just re-read 159 about Jay’s birth by Cesarean and how bad we felt about it, and I wonder what has changed here on his 2-month birthday.
The answer is ‘a lot’ and ‘not a lot’.
It still makes me feel bad to think about it. I still feel we were robbed of something beautiful, even if what happened was the right thing and the most important thing – Jay got out alive and well.… Read more
Yesterday as I went home from two client meetings and one pitch, and it was raining, I thought about what had gotten me here.
What was the status of my attempts at making money, and making money in a way that is more passionate and maybe even purposeful?
It is so-so.… Read more
I found this old piece that I wrote last year after hearing about another old music idol of mine dying. I felt like taking it up again, for no particular reason. Maybe except one: The feeling I get from re-reading it reminds me that I have to do better.
I want that feeling more.… Read more
.. which I realized yesterday as I was sitting on that cafe and not really living the ‘laptop lifestyle’:
I have to strike a balance.
Giving entirely up on my strong drive to earn money in better and more enjoyable ways, won’t work.
But I need not to obsess too much about it and let that mission distract me from appreciating everything else in life.… Read more
Today I thought a lot about how Jay’s life would be, and what I would teach him as he grows older to get the best from it.
One thing that I want to teach, which has become abundantly clear to me in life so far, is that life should not consist of goals.… Read more
This post is written Thursday 18 about a night we will always remember: Jay was born after 12-ish hours of labor, medically induced because Char is 41 and the doctors say it will lessen risk of anything wrong not to go past her term more than one week.
Well, they were wrong.… Read more
Nothing like working and waiting for the moment when you become a parent. All that and the whiffs of a midlife crisis.
Or at the very least considerations. About where I want to go from here. (And they are urgent enough to warrant writing about.)
I wrote earlier about my idea of a ‘kingdom of the soul’, or a ‘soul goal’.… Read more
1) We have so many problems finding out how ‘life works’ that it often feels like somebody ‘hid the manual’. So what if it’s annoying that somebody ‘hid’ the good parts of life? The knowledge of how to make life work better right away? It’s only annoying if you believe that that which makes life good cannot ever be found.… Read more
Today is my 43rd birthday, and who would’ve thought I’d make it this far? Sure, I live in one of the safest, richest places in the world but the enemies haven’t come from without as much as within.
In 1999-2006 I was depressed on and off, culminating in rampant anxiety, obsessive thoughts and hospitalization in 2005.… Read more