I often find myself thinking that we are too old to have Jay and that maybe we won’t live to see him grow old, or older.
But I have to remind myself this is a feeling, not thinking. And it is a feeling partly dictated by some social expectations people aren’t keeping much anyway in this day and age.… Read more
Had a business-meeting with a 25-year old marketing manager from another company that wants her to do a new webshop for them, and I wonder when she will be better at this work than the guy who is supposed to teach her: Me.
For she seems so very smart, bright and quick in everything.… Read more
So it didn’t happen that we became a family this weekend, although we had made a number of guesses that we would. Guesses we almost believed in.
That’s fine. The term is May 6 and it will be May 13-14 at the latest, as the docs will start it up if nature doesn’t – due to Char’s age (41).… Read more
What a morning – writing while trying to fix a clogged toilet, fix breakfast for my pregnant girlfriend, fix shopping, fix everything. But I got written a bit for my Story. And soon on to the accounting. I’m glad I delayed that last part until I had the Story-bit done.
Felt like doing another list-reflection post, then about time and Ageing.… Read more
Went to the family, down south, with Char and her grandma. It was mum-in-law’s birthday and a good excuse to go, although the trip is long and I get to drive every time.
Thought about life and death, and clients, and dreams, and Jay, and whether or not life would bring Good – or more of it – in the unknown future.… Read more
Found this quote today, and I think it sums up pretty well how I feel about a great many things at this stage on The Journey:
As I go off into the big black abyss of my future, I have to admit that I am terrified and also a bit insecure in my decisions.
… Read more
So I’m trying to switch my daily rhythm and blog in the mornings – before work.
I still need a better place to draw, I feel, than my bed. So I am not doing that this morning.
I have to do more housecleaning before Jay comes, but at the end of the day I will have to find a cafe en route to the office on the day and do this.… Read more
Today my friend, JMO, is coming to help move the desk into the little room so the former living room/office can be fully baby-fied.
Right after work, right before flying off to Germany for a meeting early next morning.
We’ve known each other, on and off, since we were about 9 and 11 years old.… Read more
Today we started rearranging our smallish apartment for Jay’s coming. I felt a bit like we were too late, not just with that but with everything.
Jay should have been here 10 years ago.
Our steady jobs should’ve been here 10 years ago.
Some kind of house should be here for all of us to fit in.… Read more
I’ve been thinking about time. And how we think about time.
If I think that I have only ‘so many years left’ I am constantly preoccupied with what I have left – although I can never truly know. So … maybe I should not.
I mean, it may be a lot more than I think.… Read more