55. What That Space Feels Like

“She didn’t try to repair it. She didn’t even pretend she could. She knew that even if she had been able to communicate – through angels – or whatever with her sister in the other dimension, the sister would be lost, disconnected, from her life. Always. It would at the very least be like having a sister living across the Atlantic. You could only Skype, but never visit. She was gone. And in her place was the doubt about where she had gone. If anywhere. If there was anything left but the ghostly space in the heart. But the space could be owned. If she made the choice. It could be inhabited. So the girl knew the only way to live with it was to carry it with her: The space.”


54. View to the Star

More often than not, my ideal customer has already started doing some website-stuff themselves. They recognizing the DIY-need, yes, which goes with limited funds and a small bootstrap business. But they are also not afraid to tackle with it. And skeptical enough to avoid throwing hard-earned money away on any sharks who want to sell them expensive and bad solutions. So they actually take the time to google and look at reviews and think of themselves. They have some faith in their own authority. What’s important here is that they have drive and some courage, but also a definite need for help to take the next step, and a realistic view of where their own capacity ends and mine begins. These are often the best customers.


53. The Story of Spindrift

The point is that my future just got more solid, more real, with all its ups and downs. Because I decided to chronicle it. Is that a good thing? For me, personally? I’m not sure. But it feels … like it’s going to be more meaningful simply because I weave it into some artifact for you to see after I am gone. Weave with my words … After all, isn’t that what we all long for, to be part of a story that has meaning?


52. Special Days

For me certain weathers carry memories … some are half-misted, some are just momentary eddies in my consciousness. But weather is a feeling sometimes. And so it was today, although I am not sure what it was I remembered or felt, only that it was special. Perhaps some day in high school when I was first in love, or had met an important friend. I can’t remember. But I felt something special nonetheless. On a day where everything else felt non-special.


51. Grit

So today I spent a lot of time marketing my new company, and nothing really happened except that I spend a lot of time. And began to doubt that I would ever make it. I guess the only sane response to such feelings is to grit your teeth.


49. Phased Life

This blog is what I’ve been wanting to do. Because there is so much more to share. I don’t think I would have done it as CEO of that other company. Then I would have been counting beans now. Not thinking about so many other things to share. So maybe I am in the right place, and those phases of life (finish education, get career, start family) are just illusions. At least insofar as I think of myself having ‘failed’ to complete a couple of them 10 and 20 years ago.


47. My Power Today

There IS a very real, very live, very physical way of keeping thoughts around, for a good long time, after you have let them out.

I’m talking about keeping thoughts on the Internet, of course.

Think about the totality of whatever you let out on the Internet, through a WHOLE life. Or just … 20 years. 30 years.

Sure, the Net will be different when you and I get older, but it will be there – trust me.

It will be there in some new incarnation.

And stuff we left on it years ago … it WILL be around.

And somebody WILL find it. And WILL be affected.

So what did you leave around?


45. Emotional Time

Don’t focus on what’s not left. Appreciate what is left. Don’t forget all that you have had. Appreciate what you have had. Don’t obsess about how many years you think you may have left. Forget about it. You can never know. That’s what I tell myself is the best. Now I have to train my mind to be good at it.


44. Rejuv

There is simple ‘maintenance-work’ of body and spirit – any rejuvenating activity. Only in recent years have I come to appreciate to do rejuv every day, whether meditating or reading a book. And it’s not just because I’m getting older. I believe it’s the hard-earned experience of what happens if I neglect it.


43. Resonances

The resonance of how you feel about life, for better or worse, is often found in the songs you listen to, over and over again. On levels only you know, even if you don’t fully understand them all at once. Such a song therefore echoes in your heart and your mind, in ways you recognize – and only you. But sometimes the full recognition takes 25 years. Or more. Sometimes there is more to come, if you stay with the particular song and explore it, as life goes on. It will give off new reflections, new echoes, new resonances, and you will recognize them all. It need not be a song. It could be anything really. What is it for you?

The song sends echoes in your heart and your mind, in ways you recognize – and only you.