"Oh, I am heartily tired of hearing about what Lee is going to do. Some of you always seem to think he is suddenly going to turn a double somersault, and land in our rear and on both of our flanks at the same time. Go back to your command, and try to think what we are going to do ourselves, instead of what Lee is going to do."
- U. S. Grant
You know the real best here is that I don't feel stressed about this any longer. I do one bit every day on The Blog, which may or may not be a creative project-related thing. And that is it.
I accept if it fails again. I accept that the majority of my life is going to be about earning money and taking care of my family. For the foreseeable time.
I prioritize during the day to draw if I am home and have a break, and I am not going to be online because why the hell would I need to check Facebook for the 7th time? Really? Why the hell?!
So I haven't this evening either. But that is an aside.
What matters is that I have a feeling of true strength. For the first time in a long time.
I removed the page with the Mega Guide about Inner Power.
Instead I will just keep the research posts in which I sum up my experiences with that theme from the last year or so.
Messy yes, but there it is.
I found it to be sucking a little too much of my power trying to improve upon that mess and write a more polished guide which I no longer cared for.
If I want to review myself what the hell I thought about a particular problem 3 months ago and learn from it or avoid making the same mistake or whatever - then I will use the search function.
Starting with my memory.
That's how life works anyway. So I might as well get used to it.
Make a decision - try something - no matter what.
And even if it does not work it usually leads you to think about or remember or even learn something that does - to solve your problem.
Sitting around thinking and obsessing and fearing usually leads only to more thinking and obsessing and fearing.
Take action. Now.
Instead I will put it all down to this: Before it gets too dark ... go eat an ice cream and look at the sea. And feel better already.
This is about method and habit. And about how to make all else work.
always keeping a focus on building or appreciating something positive.
This is NOT the same as denying a 'negative reality', mind you - but it is about not giving it as much power as it seems to take from you at first: Whatever it is about ...
Death of loved ones ...
General sense of depression ...
And so on.
Train yourself to build something that will oppose and balance the way you DO feel about these realities. Don't deny them. But don't let them take over, either.
Don't deny the joy you feel, for example, about your kids, even if you are sad that your job got canned or that your own father or mother died.