I thought for a long time it would help me finish creative projects if I narrowed them down to just one, due to work and family time constraints.
Turns out I get more motivated by having about 3 projects that I can shift between (but not many more), like I am recording an album instead of just having to choose a single song.
It may take longer, in principle, to finish any one of these projects, yes - but now I feel more confident that I WILL actually finish one, because I realized that this worked for me.
---it really feels like it gives me what I want right now to just do my best at making business full time as a webdesigner and then taking every possible moment of free time that I need this energy to do some of my creative projects.
And when I have the energy. Or need it.
Instead of creating a struggle between my business and my creative life.
Like that one about setting goals that make you feel better now...
That is a good one.
I realize more and more that this is what I have to do in order to get time to do that other thing - which I love.
I can't wait to clean out my to do-lists. I can't even try to decide to delete items from them to make them smaller and spend time on that. I don't want to pretend that there'll ever be a period in my life when other people won't - for good or bad reasons - stand in line to take chunk out of my (life) time. They will. It will happen.
So if I ever have to get more of this Love done ... I have to become better at just stopping and doing it. Much better.
There's a lot more nuance to it, but this is the heart of it.
"I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
―Rainer Maria Rilke
So money, miscast loyalty to others, and devotion to productivity methods that may work for others but not oneself.
Those three agendas sucked out a lot of energy from the YA novel, until I shelved it when other parts of reality killed the last of my motivation, notably my need to focus on my own business, on getting settled in yet another new apartment and dealing with the personal and relationship fall-out after (at first) not having been able to have Jay, after many treatments. Oh, and a couple of close family members died, too. Just sayin' ...