I can’t find the black book, although I aim to. When I do find it, I will note this dream. About this woman.
Even though it does not make any sense, I feel that I like it somehow. There was something playful about it – and about the woman, whom I have not seen – aside from one occasion – in 25 years now.
Not until now, that is.
I’d really love to see this outcome – that she got a huge chunk done in the first, say, 6 months. If she looks like she is prioritizing that I’d prioritize it, too. And I’d let her know beforehand that I am willing to risk less business, as long as our savings still hold. And then do this with her. I have let her know such a view before.
But I don’t think it will go this way. And I have to accept that. I think she will dabble a little and then … the Distractions.
It is okay. I love her. I love what we have together – all the rest. But I would really love for us to have this, too.
Not just to be able to better afford to pay someone to do our laundry every day, or live in a bigger place. Not just that.
Because it feels good – the idea of having our own business that has to do with a topic we are passionate about, and which might make a difference – very concretely, if we generate a surplus.
So I guess what I will have to do is to find a place for that dream. It should be like one of the old battleships – they are now museum ships but by law there is kept enough of the old shells around to reactivate them for service if need be. Or so I’ve read.
So maybe we can do this another day and win that battle to get it done.
But I will be realistic for now. And a good partner.
It is logical to dream. More than that. It is necessary.
In some ways as necessary as eating or breathing.
I know these are big words, but just think: What is your life worth if you constantly restrain yourself from dreaming ‘too much’ – imagining the good stuff you want to experience, to have, to think, to realize? What’s it worth?
Your life becomes mediocre – no, worse: A shell.
Don’t go that way. Turn right now – and start dreaming more.
I find that it comforts me, though – and excites me, too. To just think of my particular dreams like this, to take them seriously. Maybe that they even point to something More: Like something ‘visionary … ‘ Or some reflection of a Greater Reality … I mean, why not? People have been wondering about this for ages, and taking it seriously. Especially people not as civilized as us. So why not Dream of More?
When I’ve lost someone I often have a vivid dream or two of them relatively soon afterwards. Which is a great consolation, regardless of my general belief in ‘life after death’.