315. Not The Valley

After feeling emotionally in a hole these past days, there is a renewed sense of … some strength. I have had this feeling before that I should not take anything for granted about what is going to happen now.

Like I wrote:

Don’t take anything for granted.

Don’t take for granted that this is the time for my mother to die, and it’s going to be very sad and painful, and everything is going to fall apart.

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136. Up

Waiting in the cinema for an old friend, and a showing of National Live Theater direct from London, which should make me feel all cultivated, pleasantly aloof and stylish. Instead I feel like a vagabond of sorts.

I biked up here from my rent-an-office-space, the parka not being quite right because the weather is in-between autumn and spring still; and my general physical condition is below average.… Read more

123. Do Your Math

Got home today from the rent-a-seat-office and wanted to make a big splash in writing and blogging. And then I felt completely down about it all.

I sort of stood and looked at our tiny apartment and said to myself: ‘Yeah, yeah – it’s nice, after all. I think we have a lot of good things, including a child soon.… Read more

110. Seven Defining Characteristics of Deep Friendship

1) A friend knows. Knows me.  Knows changes. Knows time. And cares. And I know that he knows and cares.

2) Friends grow old in the right way. For the right purpose. Like something you drink that warms you for a long time after. That’s worth ageing.

3) There are exceptions, but the rule is probably that it is dangerous to confuse colleagues and friends.… Read more

104. Let Me Not Forget

Today I went to see St Joan (Bernard Shaw’s play) which quickened me a bit. Which was good, because I felt grey inside, as if mist had taken up residence in my heart – or swirled dangerously close.

I felt cut off from something vital, perhaps from supportive social circles for some of my higher goals of life, such as this blog and other things.… Read more

69. Gossamer Light

“Take these dogs away from me … before they bite!”

That’s a line from a song, but it could’ve been a good line for this day on the Journey.

For I felt absolutely on the edge of rotten today.

Dunno exactly why, but as I’ve explained before I sometimes wake up and feel extremely ‘low on energy’, more edgy, more irritable, more anxious.… Read more