248. What I Have To

Sleep poorly these days, feel there’s too much work and then of course preparing the baptism and keeping up with Jay every day. It’s not awfully bad but it’s not particularly good either.

Maybe I am affected by something not entirely of my own making, sometimes I do feel like a certain negative ‘energy’ latches on to me from people or places.… Read more

220. Moving On Despite

Just re-read 159 about Jay’s birth by Cesarean and how bad we felt about it, and I wonder what has changed here on his 2-month birthday.

The answer is ‘a lot’ and ‘not a lot’.

It still makes me feel bad to think about it. I still feel we were robbed of something beautiful, even if what happened was the right thing and the most important thing – Jay got out alive and well.… Read more

178. How I Sabotage Myself From Earning Money

Today I was supposed for the first time to go back to my own office space and rake in more customers to my web consultant business. I was supposed to start, after 3 weeks of leave due to the birth of Jay, to plug the whole in my credit account.

But instead I went to my office space and did a lot of thinking.… Read more

73. Positions

I woke feeling like somebody has stolen my energy, irritated and anxious.

But it helped that I got right off building the new ‘office’ in room 2 and then completed a task for a new (steady) customer. I can’t remember if I wrote earlier that I got all the various approvals, registrations and rubber stamps for my company after much soul-searching.… Read more

65. Life – Thing or Journey?

What if I tried consistently to see my life as a journey? How would that feel?

Do I think it would make it easier for me to accept that sometimes there are false starts and dead ends and all kinds of problems?

Do I think it would make it easier for me to also enjoy the parts of the journey with the spectacular views and interesting people?… Read more

16. The Key

Peace is first and foremost an Inner Experience, an Inner Journey. So outside events can be pretty screwy and it is still possible to create inner peace, in principle, as long as the focus is on it and not primarily on controlling outside events.

Some events, of extreme stress cannot be controlled – inside or outside.… Read more