315. Not The Valley

After feeling emotionally in a hole these past days, there is a renewed sense of … some strength. I have had this feeling before that I should not take anything for granted about what is going to happen now.

Like I wrote:

Don’t take anything for granted.

Don’t take for granted that this is the time for my mother to die, and it’s going to be very sad and painful, and everything is going to fall apart.

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308. Remember This When The Dark

There is also the part of cleaning the soul up and I realize this is what I have done, just for a little bit but with results.

I did it by stopping doing the dishes and making the beds and instead diving into quotes from one of my favorite authors – John O’Donohue – for about an hour, looking for them and reading and reflecting.… Read more

220. Moving On Despite

Just re-read 159 about Jay’s birth by Cesarean and how bad we felt about it, and I wonder what has changed here on his 2-month birthday.

The answer is ‘a lot’ and ‘not a lot’.

It still makes me feel bad to think about it. I still feel we were robbed of something beautiful, even if what happened was the right thing and the most important thing – Jay got out alive and well.… Read more

178. How I Sabotage Myself From Earning Money

Today I was supposed for the first time to go back to my own office space and rake in more customers to my web consultant business. I was supposed to start, after 3 weeks of leave due to the birth of Jay, to plug the whole in my credit account.

But instead I went to my office space and did a lot of thinking.… Read more