494. Like Autumn Light

“Outside the great hall in the central Tower, she could see how the crystalline structures of the Secret City all glowed translucently with the light from the autumn sun.

She could also see the sun rays cascade through that particular great window like a perpetually shining waterfall that conferred on everyone gathered in the hall a slight aura of light.”

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454. Spring

This next part of my Hammer & Magic-story has been a long time in coming and I almost felt something was beginning to freeze over inside me and make me fear that I would grind to a halt with this story, too – because many weeks had been allowed to pass.

Fortunately, it all thawed again once I actually forced myself to start writing again.

That is a good lesson.

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434. Not Bereft

It is tolerable to work like this [as a webdesigner], more than any other work I have done before. But I know I will feel bereft if I end this life and have not found out how to make money from something that I feel more … right. Not necessarily something deeply purposeful – that is The Blog and that is enough, regardless of circumstances. But something that is … more fun, where I use more of my skills, more of ‘me’. And that has always been storytelling-

And so I have embarked on Hammer and Magic, my next try to do some fiction with a little bit of art this time and make it work – this time. Not as a comic book, not as a novel – for those media have failed me. I suspect it will be a site for roleplayers with stories and a world and perhaps some sales down the line of paperbacks and t-shirts and maybe premium memberships. We will see.

It is honestly not so important. What is important is that I do it and that I do it in the right way.

And that also means recognizing that I can’t really have a joyful day unless I do this first, now that I have the chance while alone. And I need only an hour to create that joy.

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430. Another Nail

I need to learn, too, but more about how to create synergy between my bread-work, my current passion project for writing and, of course, my highest purpose work – which is The Blog.

But in recent days I have found a break, while Char and Jay were sleeping and I just did it – another installment of Hammer and Magic.

That will have to do for now … 

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397. Home Is

In the middle of everything, I manage to write the start of the next chapter of Hammer and Magic. That gives me more energy than – almost – anything else I have managed. 

Nothing more really needs to be said. But all of this needs to be remembered – every day.

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386. Seeds

That is another good form of beginning, I suppose: To constantly imagine what I will draw, even if I don’t have time yet to draw it. Or have even decided how ambitious I am going to be, and can possible be, about it. 

But these are seeds, and they are nurtured at times when I am slogging through the winter rain to get some thing or other for Jay’s dinner from one of the few super markets open.

And thus they grow.

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371. The Start Against the Dark – Again

So maybe this is stupid. Another false start. Another hope that won’t really come to anything. Another groping in the dark.

But I have to keep this search up, after a story with art that I can do, at this point in my life, because I need to do such creativity.

I have to keep up the search.

Otherwise, what is there but to sit in the dark and wait for it to become all there is?

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370. Hammer Time!

Originally I felt like writing a post which was very dark, lamenting why I could seemingly never here in my middle years find some kind of priority-mix for creativity that worked and fit the rest of my life. Then the uplifting part – LOL – would be some conclusion about accepting that never-ending search and just appreciate that I was creative and had had many good creative experiences.

Fortunately I did not write that. I wrote this.

And in this the conclusion is that I am almost there.

Given my current life situation and priorities I HAVE to put first – such as earning money now, and taking care of family – given all that and given the limited hours, if not minutes, I have for anything else, this feels like a good combo.

I will write a bit of novellas, which I am already good at and use that process for blogging.

I will write a bit of Hammer-story and do all kinds of illustrations for it, comics pages or otherwise, whatever feels right. I will use that process as well to tell about some interesting and hopefully useful experiences here, on The Blog.

And it will be bits and bits and bits and not much more. But it will be moving forward. And that feels damn good.

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