It was a beautiful and chaotic day for Jay’s baptism. I had not slept and felt ill but was probably stressed due to all the work, both with Jay and with, well, work. So I told people and they helped me and Char again, clean up after the party and was generally understanding and loving.… Read more
Taking my first break from Robinson Crusoe-posting, I simply need to say that maybe I have fucked up all this time – trying to find more enjoyable ways to make money.
At least as regards the way I’ve tried …
I was thinking that if I don’t feel good still, perhaps worse, than when I started trying to find that way to make money in a more enjoyable, passionate way, then perhaps my goal is wrong – or the way to the goal is wrong!… Read more
My best friend, MRN, and his wife, L, was over to see us and Jacob and I thought a lot about how the hell I should handle this.
You see M and L want a child but, like us until 2016, have not been able to do it. And he is 40 and she is 39.… Read more
Just worked all day, trying to contain my sense of desperation that I had found no customers this month yet. It is summer, but still …
In the end I decided to just write 3 or 4 blog posts about both WordPress and business-mindset when you run a one-man show and have to do the online-stuff as well: How to get time for it all …
Not only was the lack of income getting to me, but also the sense that I wasn’t providing value – not using my skills and experience for any good for anyone.… Read more
This post is written Thursday 18 about a night we will always remember: Jay was born after 12-ish hours of labor, medically induced because Char is 41 and the doctors say it will lessen risk of anything wrong not to go past her term more than one week.
Well, they were wrong.… Read more
Easter Sunday I think is a good time to reflect on what it takes to be open to the possibility that there could be more life, in some form, after the experience we call ‘death’.
Wait! Does it take some requirement to be open about this? How about proof?
Well, my experience tells me that openness to a certain kind of reality is neither the product of ‘proof’ nor ‘faith’, particularly not blind faith.… Read more
Got home today from the rent-a-seat-office and wanted to make a big splash in writing and blogging. And then I felt completely down about it all.
I sort of stood and looked at our tiny apartment and said to myself: ‘Yeah, yeah – it’s nice, after all. I think we have a lot of good things, including a child soon.… Read more
One thing that keeps me going when I’m in a black hole … is the energy of giving.
When I am that it is a way to get hope to … each out to others.
And give them the best hope I can.
For example: via comments on their blog posts or in forums and helping them with some very particular problem.… Read more
A day spent doing two jobs in my firm and writing two job applications, with the best will I could mobilize.
I did laundry also and then walked to my cousin’s cafe in a foggy north-west part of the capital, only to find he wasn’t there.
Instead, behind the extremely diminutive bar, a 28 year old good-looking woman with a master’s degree in philosophy and some trauma from meeting the real world of unemployment soon after.… Read more
The last day before Christmas day saw the office for the so called entrepreneur program almost empty, but I didn’t mind.
One meeting with an architect who had a need of making invisible some table-borders somebody had coded for her – and that was it. I went home again.
Char had the day off, and had bought some last Christmas presents, but was tired.… Read more