Another consideration about this need to rebuild with Char is, of course, Jay.
I have been very angry with Char – and she with me. And we have slammed doors. During this period. But …
I don’t believe that deep down either of us really believed that this would be the end – not after 20 years and numerous hard times.… Read more
Tomorrow it’ll be Jay’s 1st birthday and thus almost a year ago that we had a really hard experience getting him here.
But I am heartened that despite the lingering pain of that memory, everyday new wonderful memories are added in the other stack – of his life, what it is, what it can be, what it will be.… Read more
… you one the one hand are really, really angry and feel like saying something nasty to your spouse who can’t or won’t understand why lack of sleep and time to yourself got to you first, when she is preoccupied with her own lack …
… and on the other your heart is genuinely old-fashionedly melting when you see your 11 month old son trying to drink from a cup.… Read more
Went swimming today with Jay and it was exhausting but great. He really likes water, the little one – or so I fancy. Especially chasing after a ball in water as I hold him.
There, nothing earth-shattering new to report, but something important.… Read more
We went to the hospital today to get a sort of routine check on Jay and his body development – how things are with those cramped muscles that made him turn mostly right in the first months of his life, and made his head a bit skewed because of the uneven pressure.… Read more
Jay went to have craniosacral therapy again today, with Char. It is something we have done regularly since November to try to get his head to develop into a fairly normal shape, because it is still slightly askew.
We have had a lot of talk about this, and a lot of worry.… Read more
I try to cram in time to connect with other bloggers, but as should be no secret by now, that is really a challenge for me given my current life.
It has been really hard for me to find other blogs of interest, also. I know that sounds snobby but I realize it is also a fault of my own to an extent: I have not spent enough time thinking about what kind of blogs I want to connect with, for example.… Read more
Last day at my parents’ and everything is sort of fine, except that I have a cold and I have been reminded again that all is not as dandy in my 20-year relationship with Char as I like to tell myself.
Nothing special has happened, just another of those episodes where I say something I think is innocent, often something I say to help and she takes it as some kind of criticism and gets irritated.… Read more
We were at my brother’s house on Christmas eve and Jay had a fit, and we almost went home – just us 3 – to my parents’ house, so he could rest.
So very close to X-mas meltdown there, but the little man has been thrown around a lot between different places to stay during the past weeks, and yesterday he had a long train ride to endure.… Read more
Char was away from Jay today for the longest time since his birth – 8 hours – and I had to look after him. And I was nervous about that, like any man.
But it went quite well. And I feel totally good about that. I know it sounds trite, but I do feel a bit more being a father because I was able to do this.… Read more
A storm blew over our country this night and wrecked some things, but not much compared to other parts of the world. It made me think again about how grateful we should be for this geographical location, and how I should be more grateful of the assets I have, instead of bemoaning what I have not.… Read more
Reality set in today (for the nth time) as I tried to eke out work-hours while Char was away with Jay from the house, for as long as she could do it with her tenosynovitis and morale keeping up with autumn mist-rain.
I got about 4 hours, not all of them good.… Read more
Tried to get some work done today, and that was challenging to say the least. There is no proper room to work in here in the house we have borrowed, only a big living room and a bedroom and a children’s room. So I have to walk half an hour to the nearest library, which is not all that good a place to sit anyway.… Read more
Char has hurt her hand and can’t carry Jay, so I have to do it – day and night. Needless to say this … complicates my attempt to get more new clients now that I’m almost done with recent projects.
It also complicates how much time I get to myself, or with friends or with Char just us.… Read more