617. Making Sense

I mean, if I know somebody who is filthy rich and who says: “Oh, I got to this point by using this or that opportunity – you can easily do that” … 

Well, it rubs me if it ain’t so easy for me and if this persons seems incapable of understanding it.

Sure, there may be some validity to it, but the lack of empathy rubs me. Or maybe it is the lack of horizon when you are in an ivory tower. (There always seems to be a very limited view from up there.)

Okay, but if I know somebody like that, does it make sense to spend a lot of time trying to understand how he or she got his/her riches and then sift truth from hyperbole?

Maybe it does. In some cases.

It probably does.

But in this case … right now?

With all the different persons I can think of – that I feel rub me the wrong way?

Even just a few?

Isn’t there a better way?

How about just lining up all the constructive things that balance your POV on these people – so it is not overly positive or overly negative?

Should not take more than 5 minutes and will do a world of good.

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593. July Days (IV)

Aside from peace, only this counts – for the foreseeable future:

– My relationship, or salvaging what I can (without sounding overly dramatic)

– The Lines (more on this later)

– Earning Money

I shall think of nothing else and do nothing else, but these three things. Except when it is necessary.

Like taking care of Jay. Going to work. Doing dishes.

Not social media. Not random surfing. Not loafing around. Not anything remotely like that.

These are the July Days and they shall last.

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579. Testing Knowledge

So other channels, yes – like blogging and YouTube … I know they can work for others, with regard to getting an audience, delivering value and making money. But I don’t know yet how and when they can work for me.

And I have so little time to invest in those channels, given my duties with regard to family and earning money here and now to pay bills. Via temp work. Because there are no savings. Only debt.

So it will be a while before this clarity can be tested to its fullest extent.

But at least I know what to test. That has not always been the case.

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576. Owning

Why is that voice there, saying all through the day:

‘You are not good enough.

‘You did not get a job.

‘You did not get savings.

‘You did not get pension.

‘You did not get a house.

‘You did not get other normal stuff that people your age have.

‘You did not realize your skills, life purpose or much of value to anyone but your nearest family.

‘And these judgments are more important than everything you did – everything you did realize – everything you did value – everything.’

Normally I would be tempted to make some kind of statement and then embark on a rigorous mental training to get the voice to shut up once and for all.

And forget my shame about it quickly.

But maybe that is not enough this time. Not courageous enough, I mean.

Maybe I have to dare own it first.

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537. Not the Law of Brainwashing

People who don’t do affirmations about money either have enough money, or too little self-confidence to experiment with a world-view that might get them labelled as cranks.

Either way, who cares.

I’m just saying it works for me. Now. In this way.

And I am sharing it so it can work for others, if they want.

There may be a ‘Law of Attraction’, but certainly no Law of Forced Brainwashing to my Silly Worldviews!

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524. Highest

These customers, for whom I have built websites, seem to be a good fit for a product – and then again …

One guy is the younger man who buys domain names, advertisement campaigns and new sites and plugins, and doesn’t use all of them by half. He might be a good fit for this product. At the very least he would buy it and shelf it like many of his other purchases … :-}

Another is the middle-aged female lifestyle blogger, who had a lot of trouble getting started on WordPress but who is determined to do everything herself (and has to, because of a small budget). That includes marketing and business in general. In fact, I think she might be a better fit, if we all agree that it is the highest goal for people to actually use this product after purchase.
I am tempted to say it is not the highest goal, because I sorely need money now. And I can’t take responsibility for people’s use and non-use of what I sell them.

OTOH again: If I am not aspiring to my highest goals on The Blog, then there is nowhere else to do it. 

I have to keep myself accountable here.

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483. Pride Priorities

But if more “pride” really is what is missing (too) after a year with a baby and all sorts of other distractions, then right now the next thing I want to prioritize that can make me proud of myself – and her more proud of me – is just that boring old thing:

To go out there and earn money for the family.

And it is the right priority now.

Then there will be other times when the other priorities must be higher.

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396. The Decision

Even if I worked all I could and stressed about it – especially the marketing part – there would be no earnings guarantee. The money lost from my insistence on ‘contributing’ by buying half the food, more or less, is penalized with 14.5 per cent interest on my credit account. Better to take that money from Char’s savings and inheritance, obviously. I mean, do we have a joint economy or what? Maybe I am not contributing much, economically, but it is still joint.

Let’s make some rational choices, then …

I wonder why it took me so long to see this. I guess it was a mixture of interference from life-stress (like the stuff with my mother’s cancer) and habit and an idea that Char wanted me to pay my part and that I should because I am … what? … the man of the house.

But Char also want’s help when she can only use one hand more or less. And she wants less stress at home. And more quality time and some sweet time, too. With me.

So that is my contribution.

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