277. Transfer Wisdom

Dentist-visits and business-meetings and a generally mixed day with no particular highlights – the ones you are afraid will come to make up a majority of your life. And yet … I was calm, about this and other such matters.

Since I decided to stress down and be my best self and use the lessons of the past – again – I’ve felt decidedly better and calmer and more at peace.… Read more

276. Reminders

Teaching WordPress all day and getting paid for it, which begs the question – how can I get to do that again?

Which begs the question: Why do I want to work, when I should create ‘passive income’ based on royalties from a product-line etc? [Sarcastic reference to previous attempts at creating this reality in my work-life?]

I think it comes down to this again: That I do enjoy giving – I do enjoy the real-life connection – I do enjoy seeing the results, or lack thereof.… Read more

254. Doing

So today started with an argument. I don’t recall much of the substance since perhaps there wasn’t any. But I was frustrated that I could not find a sock, some clothes for Jay and that the apartment still looked messy, while I had to find something else for Char before she went out and we could hardly find time to get some milk on bottle for Saturday when I am to look after Jay alone.… Read more

246. No Diversions

The Necessities of Hunger and Thirst, were his greatest Diversions from the Reflection on his lonely Condition. When those Appetites were satisfied, the Desire of Society was as strong a Call upon him, and he appeared to himself least necessitious when he wanted every thing; for the Supports of his Body were easily attained, but the eager Longings for seeing again the Face of Man during the Interval of craving bodily Appetites, were hardly supportable.

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244. Drop By Drop

Taking my first break from Robinson Crusoe-posting, I simply need to say that maybe I have fucked up all this time – trying to find more enjoyable ways to make money.

At least as regards the way I’ve tried …

I was thinking that if I don’t feel good still, perhaps worse, than when I started trying to find that way to make money in a more enjoyable, passionate way, then perhaps my goal is wrong – or the way to the goal is wrong!… Read more

224. Being My Own Case

One of those days … slept poorly, had odd nightmarish dreams and awoke feeling like shit.

Like it all didn’t matter. I was never going to make more money before I died or got to ill health’d to do anything anymore. I was never going to do anything that mattered to more people than my immediate family, even though I had thoroughly wished that for years now – and told myself that I wished it.… Read more