244. Drop By Drop

Taking my first break from Robinson Crusoe-posting, I simply need to say that maybe I have fucked up all this time – trying to find more enjoyable ways to make money.

At least as regards the way I’ve tried …

I was thinking that if I don’t feel good still, perhaps worse, than when I started trying to find that way to make money in a more enjoyable, passionate way, then perhaps my goal is wrong – or the way to the goal is wrong!… Read more

196. Through the Crap

Writing this Saturday is interesting, because Monday could be crap. As usual. With Big Photographer Client and all his Mess.

However, after feeling like crap Saturday I’ve made a few good decisions. Here they are:

Replacing the 1500 USD per month I earn from Big Photographer Client is of paramount importance.Read more

193. I’m Amazed At How Difficult It Is

… for me to earn money in a way that’s enjoyable.

I’m amazed that at this stage of my life, 43, I have not been able to put my skill, experience, intuition to better use to make more money in more satisfying ways.

I’m amazed and deeply humbled.

What can redeem all of this is if I can put that insight and sense of humility to good use, for myself or others, in the future, and thus leave something of deep value behind.… Read more

178. How I Sabotage Myself From Earning Money

Today I was supposed for the first time to go back to my own office space and rake in more customers to my web consultant business. I was supposed to start, after 3 weeks of leave due to the birth of Jay, to plug the whole in my credit account.

But instead I went to my office space and did a lot of thinking.… Read more

177. Minor Questions About Why I Fucked Up My Career So Far

I’m writing this post Thursday, because Wednesday we were out all day – to another city, to get Char some treatment for her trauma after the┬ábirth. She is doing well overall, but can still get very sad and down about it.

Figures.

Everything had looked good until everything suddenly turned around and she got her stomach cut open.… Read more

176. Today I Wanted to Switch Work, Income, Life – Immediately

But of course I couldn’t. I could just go to Big Client no. 1 and take up the reins again after my leave due to the birth of Jay. And then go catch up with other minor clients and find new clients.

And what a real bug of a day. While yesterday wasn’t so bad as I feared, today gave me reminders all across the board about why Big Client is a real challenge to work with.… Read more

171. I Momentarily Felt Anxious About My Prospects of Success

… when it comes to earning money in a way that’s better than now.

Not news, really, although this time it came to me while walking Jay in his carriage Very Early this morning, dead-tired and wondering if I was ever going to get time enough to get some of the (other) successes I craved in life.… Read more