My soul wanted this for a long time. But there were many excuses. One of them: You are too puritan if you decide to be absolutely abstinent in the age of the Internet, even if just while home. Puritan is a weird word. But the question is what I am if I actually get to draw a lot of valuable and joyful and significant stuff again before I die? If that is a puritan then that is what I am. I like the word in that case.
Dragged an old drawer Char has inherited from her mum back down from the attic, because we don't have enough space - even with our new mega-cupboard. Jay's toys and clothes are already piling up, but I don't think that's so much of a problem anymore. In fact, it feels easier and easier to clean up and let go of our stuff, and also to decide which of his things to keep. And for how long. It is not that easy, mind you. But the exercise of throwing things out and constantly evaluating what you need and what you don't need does get relatively easier if you are forced to make it - constantly. And we are. It feels as if it is with this exercise as with any other kind of exercise: It gets easier the more you do it. The hard part is getting started.
Maybe I am a really super-smart-ass guy who knows a lot more about life than anyone else my age, huh? Yeah, maybe so. Would I prove it, then, by tearing somebody else's life-advice apart because I felt envious about his success?
A few days ago, I found myself doing the dishes and then going back and forth to my email to see if anyone had written anything "vital" to me (a definition I've deliberately left open - but it's to do with emergencies at work or in the family, mostly). Thus, I found myself checking email maybe 5 times during an hour to see if anything "vital" had come up which could ... divert my attention, I suppose. The piss filling up and warming my pants this cold spring sure feels nice and warm. But fine so. Awareness of a behavior you want to change is the first step to that change.
Much can be achieved if only those damned habits are changed. Like ... our dreams. It's real. So real. And I see it now so clearly. So I have to do it. Not just with investing time to get more friends. With everything.