This one is from 2005, as I still don’t have time or energy to draw new stuff. What a way to start my Lines project, but I suppose it’s somehow … fitting.
Currently, I feel overwhelmed with the need to find work immediately to pay bills and contribute meaningfully to family and pay off debt.… Read more
Q: Why haven’t you at the age of 44 a steady job yet?
A: Why haven’t you at age 44 a steady relationship yet?… Read more
So we got on the X-mas train for my parents’ town, 4 hours away, and it wasn’t quite as filled as I feared, but it was no joyride either – with baby Jay and a bunch of other kids.
But after all the ruckus back home and in recent weeks, with the apartment renovation, spots of hours to work and then some free days to catch up on just cleaning up and clearing out … well, it felt good to go to my parents’ home, even if it’s a bit away.… Read more
Met with clients for a course I’m doing for startups on WordPress-websites and wasn’t sure how to feel about this gig.
On the one hand it’s kind of a victory. I was asked by the coordinator of the start-up program at the insurance company that pays out insurance for the unemployed to do this for, well, unemployed people who wish to do a start up business.… Read more
I haven’t been too proud of this week’s blogging, since I haven’t had time for it, and therefore yanked in some old texts. I want this blog to be better and better and more and more original.
But sometimes that Is. Not. Possible.
Since Char got ill I have barely had five minutes to myself all day, looking after Jay with her and doing house-work, and only being able to work very, very little.… Read more
I read on a webpage from Brooklyn Academy that:
Daniel Defoe was a prolific writer (over 370 known publications) who could–and would–turn his hand to almost any topic; he has been called one of the greatest journalists and the father of journalism. To many of his contemporaries, he was a man who sold his pen to the political party in office and so lacking integrity …
He was an outsider, being a Dissenter or Puritan, the son of a butcher, and a suspected government spy (this suspicion was confirmed in the nineteenth century) …
For nearly seventy-five years, Defoe’s reputation as a writer was in decline.
… Read more
We went out today, to the sea-side and enjoyed fantasizing about what it would be like being able to afford living in a house there. And just enjoyed being there, in general.
It was a long day out in the fresh air, esp. for little Jay, who slept like a log when we came home.… Read more
Visited an old acquaintance today, who has got special hands. She does some form of healing, I’d say, and I also bought an hour of that. Made some business for her and got a lot of energy from it myself.
I let results speak for themselves. Who cares how it works.… Read more
I found this old piece that I wrote last year after hearing about another old music idol of mine dying. I felt like taking it up again, for no particular reason. Maybe except one: The feeling I get from re-reading it reminds me that I have to do better.
I want that feeling more.… Read more
An old friend pissed me off yesterday by changing her WordPress website to a software-as-service solution.
Not because I hate all SaaS or because I put in a lot of free time to teach her WP. Simply because she took off her head and walked with it under her arm into the arms of that SaaS-company and Took No Backup Of Her Old Site.… Read more
I worked for 7 hours trying to fix somebody’s webshop and failed at a lot of the technical stuff, which I thought I knew, but didn’t. So I only billed them 3.
I feel bad about that, but okay about having delivered fair service. And having the courage to explain to them that my abilities fell short, instead of trying to excuse myself or even bill them for all of it.… Read more
Today is my 43rd birthday, and who would’ve thought I’d make it this far? Sure, I live in one of the safest, richest places in the world but the enemies haven’t come from without as much as within.
In 1999-2006 I was depressed on and off, culminating in rampant anxiety, obsessive thoughts and hospitalization in 2005.… Read more
Went to the family, down south, with Char and her grandma. It was mum-in-law’s birthday and a good excuse to go, although the trip is long and I get to drive every time.
Thought about life and death, and clients, and dreams, and Jay, and whether or not life would bring Good – or more of it – in the unknown future.… Read more
Yes, we try to fix it all … with a little prescribed mindfulness or meditation, perhaps.
But usually we fall by the wayside …
We end up ‘fixing’ only our sense of being swept away by life’s storms, whirl winds – whatever they are.
But we are still swept away … every day …
So we continue to fix by continuing to escape:
Whatever feels like it is too strong for us to control and brings us out of balance all the time – screaming kids or a screaming boss.… Read more