559. No Alternative to Dreams

This one is from 2005, as I still don’t have time or energy to draw new stuff. What a way to start my Lines project, but I suppose it’s somehow … fitting.

Currently, I feel overwhelmed with the need to find work immediately to pay bills and contribute meaningfully to family and pay off debt.… Read more

384. What Makes Life Stronger?

So we got on the X-mas train for my parents’ town, 4 hours away, and it wasn’t quite as filled as I feared, but it was no joyride either – with baby Jay and a bunch of other kids.

But after all the ruckus back home and in recent weeks, with the apartment renovation, spots of hours to work and then some free days to catch up on just cleaning up and clearing out … well, it felt good to go to my parents’ home, even if it’s a bit away.… Read more

337. The Rent

Met with clients for a course I’m doing for startups on WordPress-websites and wasn’t sure how to feel about this gig.

On the one hand it’s kind of a victory. I was asked by the coordinator of the start-up program at the insurance company that pays out insurance for the unemployed to do this for, well, unemployed people who wish to do a start up business.… Read more

301. Momentum

I haven’t been too proud of this week’s blogging, since I haven’t had time for it, and therefore yanked in some old texts. I want this blog to be better and better and more and more original.

But sometimes that Is. Not. Possible.

Since Char got ill I have barely had five minutes to myself all day, looking after Jay with her and doing house-work, and only being able to work very, very little.… Read more

245. Like Paving Stones

I read on a webpage from Brooklyn Academy that:

Daniel Defoe was a prolific writer (over 370 known publications) who could–and would–turn his hand to almost any topic; he has been called one of the greatest journalists and the father of journalism. To many of his contemporaries, he was a man who sold his pen to the political party in office and so lacking integrity …

He was an outsider, being a Dissenter or Puritan, the son of a butcher, and a suspected government spy (this suspicion was confirmed in the nineteenth century) …

For nearly seventy-five years, Defoe’s reputation as a writer was in decline.

Read more

213. Risk in the Sun

We went out today, to the sea-side and enjoyed fantasizing about what it would be like being able to afford living in a house there. And just enjoyed being there, in general.

It was a long day out in the fresh air, esp. for little Jay, who slept like a log when we came home.… Read more

122. Principles

I worked for 7 hours trying to fix somebody’s webshop and failed at a lot of the technical stuff, which I thought I knew, but didn’t. So I only billed them 3.

I feel bad about that, but okay about having delivered fair service. And having the courage to explain to them that my abilities fell short, instead of trying to excuse myself or even bill them for all of it.… Read more

121. Messages in a Bottle

Today is my 43rd birthday, and who would’ve thought I’d make it this far? Sure, I live in one of the safest, richest places in the world but the enemies haven’t come from without as much as within.

In 1999-2006 I was depressed on and off, culminating in rampant anxiety, obsessive thoughts and hospitalization in 2005.… Read more

72. The Heart Needs No Distractions

Yes, we try to fix it all … with a little prescribed mindfulness or meditation, perhaps.

But usually we fall by the wayside …

We end up ‘fixing’ only our sense of being swept away by life’s storms, whirl winds – whatever they are.

But we are still swept away … every day …

So we continue to fix by continuing to escape:

Whatever feels like it is too strong for us to control and brings us out of balance all the time – screaming kids or a screaming boss.… Read more