The most important thing is still that I felt calm - much more calm - throughout such a busy day, with so many uncertainties in view.
That must be because I detoxed. Cut off bad social media, bad news, bad noise.
From the Internet.
Only went with what was necessary
So ... can I keep this shift real this time? Or will I fall back into the 'need for noise?'
Is the inner silence and its inherent peace enough?
Today I am not in doubt.
I could try to say to myself every morning I get up:
"What shall I do on this day in my life-journey?" (Or just: "On this day of the journey?")
By doing so I train myself to see my life as a journey.
And for me a journey has always been something positive.
It has a goal. A meaning. Even if a lot of terrible stuff happens along the way and you get stuck for 3 days in an airport somewhere
What you could do when feeling overwhelmed is to re-tell this personal story as if it was ... a journey-story. It begins not with a first step, though - but with a map. Our hero(es) are set out to go - like the Fellowship of the Ring - into the big confusing world. They need a map and they need to take time to make that map. So do you. But they (you) also know that once they have a map - even if it's just a simple one - the journey has already become a bit easier.
So today I spent a lot of time marketing my new company, and nothing really happened except that I spend a lot of time. And began to doubt that I would ever make it. I guess the only sane response to such feelings is to grit your teeth.
Don't make future goals more important than they actually are.. Sure you have to think about the future and important goals and all that, and sometimes at the expense of happiness in the present. But when does the balance tip? When is it too much? When have you become a hostage of the future?
This blog is what I've been wanting to do. Because there is so much more to share. I don't think I would have done it as CEO of that other company. Then I would have been counting beans now. Not thinking about so many other things to share. So maybe I am in the right place, and those phases of life (finish education, get career, start family) are just illusions. At least insofar as I think of myself having 'failed' to complete a couple of them 10 and 20 years ago.
Your ability to earn money is a measure of how well you handle a tool that allows you to live as you want to live - and therefore be. It is not a description of who you already are and what you are worth. But in our society you have to work harder to internalize that perspective well and truly - much harder than you ever have to work to earn your first million.