Okay, time to sum up where I've been for the last 100 days and where I want to go for the next.
Deep realizations first
In short: I've realized - now more than ever - that I want to be free of any drive to be famous, rich - to have 'position'.
Drivers inside for fame, money and ...
God, the Divine, what you want to call it. I don't know exactly how This Larger Something works, I only feel very strongly that it is there - despite the chaos and darkness in this world. And that it can and will and is helping us, but that we have to learn to receive that help, all of the time. So I believe it is about mindset, and maybe heart-set, too.