120. Hidden?

This morning at the train-station as I was under way to Client, I thought: “Living our lives is like code-breaking.”

There’s constantly some code we seek to break: to love, to earning money, to health, to successful family life, to the good life in general … to happiness.

So is that a good or a bad thing?

On the one hand it seems cruel that life is hiding something from us.

On the other it seems like a promising thought that there is something to be found, if we break the code … something that will give us what we need.

I have always subscribed instinctively to life-as-a-code, although I don’t quite understand yet why it is like that (although I have my theories). But I also accept that not all codes seem to be meant to be broken in one life. That much is obvious.

Which, I guess, is why I subscribe to the notion that there are more ‘lives’ to be led – beyond this one we have and live in whatever now we find ourselves in.

Whether or not that really is so is another code to be broken, and we will all break it after we ‘die’. Hopefully we will like what we find …

But the issue is if it’s a good perspective in there here and now to have: That life is like a code-breaking operation?

I believe the answer can only be yes, if you believe you can find something. Whether or not you find it all, break all the codes, doesn’t matter. If you believe it you will try and if you try you will succeed at something, breaking 1 or 5 codes but perhaps not 10.

The dangerous thinking is that life is forever encrypted, whether by God or chance. That’s the recipe for powerlessness.

But it’s your choice to believe one or another, so I say: We might as well believe there is a code. It will give us better lives and better results, because it prompts us to act.

I also thought: ‘I am about to become a father at 43 and I’ve had my ups and downs – what if it’s too late to break some of the codes I really want to break?’

Like earning money in a fashion that I find really purposeful?

Or getting into some shape again on a level that is really … significant, before the natural limits of a body of some years put a stop to it?

Or experiencing certain relations that I haven’t yet experienced? What about deeper and more meaningful friendships with more people who want to, say, ‘chance the world for good’ – for lack of a better term? Don’t know many of those, even though I do have many good friends with good guiding star in their lives.

So … these are some of the codes I still want to break. Whether or not I break them all, we will see. But perhaps it doesn’t matter.

Only that I believe in their existence, and keep at it.

So what if it’s annoying that somebody hid the good parts of life? The knowledge of how to make it work better? In so many respects?

Isn’t it the best to believe that there IS something hidden that can be found? Always?