So today started with an argument. I don’t recall much of the substance since perhaps there wasn’t any. But I was frustrated that I could not find a sock, some clothes for Jay and that the apartment still looked messy, while I had to find something else for Char before she went out and we could hardly find time to get some milk on bottle for Saturday when I am to look after Jay alone. Oh, and I would like to work and make some money, too.
My head is still screwy after the weekend when I was stressed above and beyond. I’ve ditched some gigs this week and so far lost about 300-400 dollars for not working, and I still feel stressed, or at least not well-rested, not energy-filled. Not ready to pick up …
And then there was that damn sock, and laundry still not done and all the the rest. Char has to go to some re-training after the birth and then the mother’s group and it is all very important and it obviously makes no sense to keep her (and Jay) at the house, even if it was not important. And now I have the house – which is not a house – for myself.
Still can’t find my socks and there is still a lot of laundry.
I have this day off, too – and paying for it.
I was about to try to do something about that product that I want to make that is supposed to turn my financial and work situation around, but I dunno if I can concentrate.
On the other hand, maybe I should. After all, there is ALWAYS something else that begs attention. And Char is not the one to refuse me if I am willing to help with Jay.
I need to get my priorities sorted out, so let’s take a look:
Doing the laundry can wait, in principle. It looks like shit, but if I accept it I can do more on work that will bring in money to hire someone to do it, at least in the future.
Finding a new time for laundry and then doing that may be necessary, but then it has to be sometime when Char is home and able to do it while looking after Jay. I will try to find that time – in the basement, at the communal laundry.
I have some preparation for a coaching session Friday and a lot of prep on a webshop Thursday. I’d like to start prepping both of those today to be ahead. But that would mean sacrificing time to day, so I’m not going to do that. I’m going to keep away from that.
Not going to the office, even though it has been several weeks. It is a joint office space and I only get to bring my laptop and there is no quiet. While Char is out, for some hours, it is better to stay here. More quiet, and a 27 inch flat screen – even if the surroundings are messy. It is an easy choice but I had to, well, say it to myself – that I am okay with it.
Some more mails etc. for my business, I just remembered, but they can wait, too.
Some long-term planning, on how to, well, get better at feeling happy. On defining that … state of being that I have searched for in these last many blog posts: How to achieve financial goals without feeling stressed. How to be more present. How to build that future you want in the present, instead of racing for it and pushing it away from you, in a sense. This is still very fuzzy in my head and could use a good long sit-down to think about. Otherwise, I may find my life is over before I ever get sorted things out, and that would be a crying shame, no? I need to continually work on defining and acting on those guiding values, and principles, for my life, otherwise I forget them and just get caught by whatever winds and waves prevail. In business. In family life. Etc.
So that IS important. But is it important today? When I have a few hours.
Or should I rather look to create my first product for my webdesign site? I had thought about some mp3-recordings dealing with the right mindset you need for a business that has an online part, which almost every business has today. That is what I want to do, very simply put.
I suppose there is an interesting case-story today in my own situation, but how can I apply it to create something worth something for others?
Can I make a recording reminding people that they need to prioritize and calm down? That’s pretty banal.
Something reminding people they need to get their values straightened out, when I have difficulty doing that myself?
I honestly don’t know.
I guess I will just try to create something – a minimum viable product – and see where it goes.
I don’t have track on whether or not this creation is consistent with my previous considerations about what to create and why?
I don’t feel at all secure that my current customers will appreciate it, or that I have enough traffic on the website for a meaningful conversion.
And although I have jutted down notes on topics I’d like to share my experience about, in audio, I don’t have my mind made up about any form of hierarchy, consistency, coherency or chronology.
In short: No plan.
And time is running.
I guess I will just have to fall back on the time-tested entrepreneurial art-form of Doing Something and seeing where it goes.
It is better than analysis-paralysis.