360. Leaving Room For Answers

Stayed at home to help with the mess and house and laundry and everything that drive both Char and I crazy, because it’s like there is never time to kill it off in depth, even with some purchased help one day a week. No time, mostly due to Jay and my work and, well, the Usual.

It was a bit scary because my business is still not earning money to cover my debt, purchases of food, transport, etc. But then again, my family and my home are pretty important assets, and it might make me work better if there is a bit more calm on that front.

While doing laundry MN called and it was good to talk to him. I figured we might talk about my mother or his parents who are still very ill, also with cancer in the case of his father. I figured we just might, but instead he asked me to consider doing a revival summer-role-playing session next year of an old scenario of mine, which he had just gotten his hands on and loved very much (and remembered how much he loved).

In the evening I looked at the scan of the scenario and felt skeptical, although I had said “great idea” on the phone (and loved MN for bringing it up).

It is a scenario from 1995, for a national role-playing convention and it features characters from the movie Highlander which I dug quite a lot in those days. Then I thought that I might feel motivated if I did it for MN, because I knew that his own personal situation is kind of serious with his parents and all and he might have called me because he wanted, deep down, to have this good distraction in life.

Another good distraction, to get energy from.

Still, it did not feel right to do it – for that purpose even. And even if it were true. (I suspect MN’s motivations as usual are not that simple, although he certainly would love to just do this for the fun of it.)

Then I thought that if maybe I changed some of the plot to fit a theme that was more resonant with the people we are today – with who I feel I am … then I might want to do the work of preparing and game-mastering this scenario. Come summer.

That felt really good, actually. I’ve always wanted to do this scenario again and improve on it.

The improving is easy – cut a lot away and leave it to the characters to roleplay.

You see, in the original scenario I had an origin (and quite a complicated one) for the immortal main characters of the Highlander movie. I felt it was better than that shitty sequel’s origin and I still do.

But it needs to go. Right now, for the people I envision playing it with MN and I, there needs to be more ambiguity. I think I will let them search for the origin and not find it. It is all a ploy or an ambush.

Not in line with my own way of looking at life, mind you – that there are no answers to the Big Questions. But in line with experience, especially for us 40-somethings.

I don’t know if they will like it, if we ever play, but I am willing to take the risk. Because I like it.

And if you leave something open doesn’t mean there is no answer or only negative answers – to The Big Questions – like “where do immortals come from” or “is there a God”.

It just means the jury is still out and the answers could be good and more than you can imagine.

Which is also something I hope my friends can experience, or at least think of if I give them the opportunity.

We will see.