14 years ago I did this and never finished, right before I ended up in hospital. It is part of a larger pic, obviously.
I tried to finish it tonight, and then failed immediately.
Then I did some photoshopping on it, hoping I could do some … avant-garde-ish collage-shit with mist and effects and make it look like that was my intention all along.
But the truth is that it is just one of those insanely detailed pencils-drawings that had a certain energy a long time ago, but no longer feels fresh.
Even so I don’t want to forget it.
I want to use it as a reminder – and then as a motivation to start again.
With something that is just as detailed and has just as much energy.
For now this one is frozen in time.
Like a shadowy slice of the past – almost literally – that is just there, always unfinished and kind of broken.
Right before I myself was almost broken, in a whole other story of life.
There is a strange fascination about that, and perhaps it is okay therefore to leave it.
Perhaps it is okay that some things are reminders of just that.