562. True Faith

I have thought long and hard about what I want to prioritize the next 10 years, but given my record of changing my mind about just that … I’ve also thought long and hard about how I can trust my priorities to stay steady, so I will actually get (more) done?

With career … with creativity … especially those areas of my life.

The truth is that there is no guarantee.

I thought I was clear about what I wanted in 1998 and in 2008, and I wasn’t and it cost me a lot of time doing stuff that led to places that I didn’t really want to end up.

So what has changed?

I can say I really do feel things have changed, this time … that as I get older I have become clearer.

But truth is: I can’t be sure.

I can only do it and see if I am right, and how many adjustments will be made once again – or deviations – or complete reversals.

What else can I do but do my best?

Nothing. That is the truth. And it is a scary truth.

But I have to accept it.

I feel surer about my career and creative priorities now – in my mind – than I did at 24 or 34. But even if all other things stay equal (and they won’t), I can’t be sure that I won’t change in some major way, internally – in the next 10 years, and pull the plug on something I built up.

And then have wasted time again. And gotten some years closer to the Deadline.

It may sound stupid but this track record of mine has really put me into analysis paralysis for some time.

If only I could be sure that this time – this time – I have a set of priorities that I will stick to. And hence: Get results.

All other things being equal, etc., etc.

But I can’t.

And taking that step forward anyway and following the path I have now set out … that is a very practical experience of true faith.

You don’t need to be religious to experience it.

You just need to find the courage to trust yourself and in your capability to adapt and create value in life, regardless of all the uncertainty.