614. Going Forward

I did this course in “abundance” (including, of course, economic abundance). My first result was up after a few days, and it was surprising.

I felt very strongly that I had to divide my life into three perspectives:

  1. What helps my overall life purpose
  2. What helps me pay the bills from day to day and support my family
  3. What gives me energy and is fun

No. 1 I should completely let go of to my version of The Higher/God/the Source/etc.

I can do that if I imagine myself as humble as Joan of Arc, whom I admire a lot, and try to be like her example. I can do that if I dare say: “I don’t know exactly what I am supposed to do here but I trust that you, God, will help me contribute to the best of my ability to humankind, because that is what I really, really want.”

And then let go.

No. 2. I should just do. Go through the motions. Earn the damn money.

As much as I can.

But don’t stress about it. It is a battle I can’t win in the foreseeable future – paying off my debts, establishing regular cash flows, etc.

So why stress?

I have asked that question a number of times, and I think I can only now answer it with: “Yeah, why stress” because of my answer to no. 1

No. 3. I should do, too – and prioritize it as if it was my rent to be paid.

It is, I guess. Rent to myself.

Here I felt I had to be more egoistic and reserve whole days to just do my drawing and The Lines-project (more on that really soon – I promise)

And don’t give a fuck if it impacted someone or raked in some cash. Just do it and have fun with it.

Like Hammer and Magic – that story.

So I try to set at least 1 day – a whole workday – per week now for The Lines. Drawing, doing videos, uploading, sharing.

That gives me energy.

Also for going through the motions of no. 2.

So the gist is … once I separated purpose and passion from making money it actually didn’t feel like such a big deal to make the silly money and do the silly webdesign pitching and do the boring temp work. And budgets. And arguments.


Sure, I’d love to not have to do any of the work in no. 2 category, but it worked better once I foundĀ  a way – and I think I have – to meet my needs with no. 1 and 3: Purpose and passion.

“The way”: Basically a little more creative conclusion on each of these subjects – passion and purpose – than before …

I knew about Joan of Arc as a role model. I have known about her all my life. I have wanted to be like her. But now I feel I can. I can be the essential part of her – the trust-in-the-Higher-part.

And my God (pun intended) – it feels good to be serving myself more of the good stuff: Drawing. Deliberately. Pushing other people and priorities out of the way.

What went wrong until now? Why didn’t I get it as right until now as I feel I am getting it now?

I have to go back and look (in older posts), but right now I’d rather go forward.